DEANO

Okay, Labour can’t add up . . . but at least they’re trying

Theresa May’s Tory election manifesto had all the pizazz and inspiration of a dead fox.

Tinkering with arrangements for old folk getting their arses wiped? Ooh, sexy!

Scrapping fuel allowances for millionaire pensions? Radical!

Reducing immigration to under 100,000? Another f** king repeat!

The Tory Party is supposed to be the most efficient and effective election- winning machine in the western world.

Not so long ago, the Tories were returned with thumping majorities after promising real, radical policies like flogging the nationalised monopolies, battering the union barons and letting people buy their council houses.

What have we got this time? One of the pledges is to “Reduce online VAT fraud”. I shit you not. At least the Labour Party have got some ideas. OK, they are ideas that will not work and have been proved not to work, but at least they’re having a go.

And Labour are entertaining too.

The hilarious attempts of poor Diane Abbott to do maths have been the highpoint of the election so far.

What have we got from Mrs M in the way of entertainment? An appearance on The One Show with her Harold Lloyd hubby.

What’s Theresa’s battle cry? “I’ve got diabetes and it’s sad I’ve not got any children.”

It’s hardly “The lady’s not for turning”, is it?

Even little Tim Farron of the LibDems is more amusing. He offered to sniff a cocker spaniel’s arse on the campaign trail the other day. Or something.

The Tories look like they’re not trying. They look like they think they can win the election simply by turning up on the day.

That looks cocky – and everyone hates a cocky c** t.

I reckon predictions of a Maggie- sized majority are way off the mark. Corbyn’s going to do better than everyone expects.

And – even though I oppose just about everything the mad Trot believes in – he will have earned every vote he gets.

Unlike the bone- idle Tories.