Don’t force city halfwits into the countryside

AS a rule, I’m always rather dubious about statistics.

We get hundreds of ‘ we asked 100 people’ polls here at Sunday Sport every week and I guess most of them are made up by PR people called Philomena or Bethany and who think everything in life is “brilliant”.

Unless there’s a tricky little hole to fill in the paper at that exact moment, most of these polls go straight in the bin.

But one caught my eye last week – simply because it was so utterly depressing.

According to The Prince’s Countryside Fund, one in eight young people has never seen a cow in real life, according to a survey.

While they may have spotted a cow on TV, 12 per cent of 18 to 24- year- olds are so unfamiliar with the countryside they have never seen cattle for real.

A fifth said they have never even left the city they live in ( 18%). Never? Wow. Just wow. I can’t imagine a life without the great outdoors but, hey, whatever floats your boat. If you’re not interested in the countryside and the outdoors, that’s fine. I think it’s a bit weird but, hey, who am I to call weird?

Life’s meddlers, though, cannot just leave it at that.

The Prince’s Countryside Fund have roped in former JLS singer JB Gill, who recently took up farming after spending his life living in London. Nope, I’ve no idea who he is. Or even if JB Gill is a he, to be honest.

Anyway JB said: “It would be fantastic if younger people could take a day out to the countryside to visit a farm.”

No, no and a million, trillion f** king times, NO!

For many years there has been a movement to force young people from the city into the countryside to go and look at cows.

The little c** ts would much rather be in a shopping ‘ mall’ shoplifting or throwing bottles at policemen. And don’t they let the world know it?

Marauding

There is little more awful when you’re out on a ramble than coming across a gaggle of soaked, surly, spitting, city children.

They break fences, scare animals, leave litter and steal from village shops like marauding Norsemen.

They don’t want to be there. The people who enjoy the countryside don’t want them there.

It’s a fool’s errand to try and teach youngsters to enjoy the outdoors.

The ones who want to go out and discover the countryside will do so.

If some mouth- breather has no idea that milk comes from a cow or is not interested that chips have something to do with potatoes, that’s fine.

The countryside is busy enough with people who DO without bussing in people who don’t.