Backs to the wall for my special sex fetish

Dear Sam,

EVER since I started my job last year I’ve been going to the same sandwich shop every lunchtime.

And recently one of the women who makes the butties there has started flirting with me. She’s old enough to be my mum – I’m 21 – but still quite sexy. And the other day she asked me if I’d like to fill HER sandwich with my special mayo!

Then she put up the closed sign and pulled down her skirt and knickers. She wasn’t bad for an old ’ un, and I was having a good time doing her doggysyle, while grabbing her tits.

But when I told her I was about to shoot, she grabbed two slices of bread off the side. She made me glob on one slice, and then she ate it!

TG, Humberside Sam says… WELL, there’s no such thing as a free lunch, I guess.

Dear Sam,

I’VE just got back from my first trip to London and don’t the birds down there love a bit of northern rough?

I’m a 25- year- old plasterer and I pulled a right couple of crackers in some pub in Soho.

They got me back to their flat and the first thing they did was shave off all my pubes, as they reckoned if would give me extra depth.

And it seemed to work because as I slid my big cock in the slimmer of the two, and she let out a scream of delight.

It could have had something to do with the busty one sitting on her face, but I prefer to think it was my massive northern knob. But is it supposed to itch as the hairs start to grow back?

TT, South Yorks Sam says… SADLY, yes – you could always shave the stubble off yourself and go for that ‘ porn cock’ look permanently.

Dear Sam,

I AM a 19- year- old man and I’ve never had full sex – due to a problem which I hope you can help me with. I’ve had girlfriends who have been willing, some even lying on the bed in front of me with their legs spread, but I mess up every time. I’ve done the fingering, the pussy licking and the tit sucking bit, but none of it gives me a proper erection. Once they turn their back on me, however, it’s a totally different story. If I rub my tool across their shoulders or the nape of their neck then I’m shooting my load within seconds. Various lovers have begged me to keep hold of my man muck and instead fire it up their chuffs.

Reverse

But I simply can’t avoid this fetish I have developed for the reverse view of lovely ladies. This leaves the girls really frustrated and they dump me. It’s driving me up the wall! I went to a posh dinner with one ex- girlfriend and all the women were wearing off- the- shoulder or strapless dresses. Needless to say, I had a hard- on the whole night. One girl there was in a backless number and I could see her shoulder blades moving under her skin as

Dear Sam,

she giggled with her mate at the bar.

It excited me so much I ejaculated in my pants, right there and then, and I’m sure she noticed something strange about me.

She sat down with her lovely bare back to the wall and I had to spend the rest of the night waiting for her to move in order to catch another glimpse of it.

She eventually came over to me and asked what my problem was.

I told her I found her back really stimulating and I couldn’t believe it when she asked me if I wanted to take a snap of it on my mobile phone.

Rubbing

She turned around and wriggled her shoulders – and within a second my knob was bursting at the flies.

I snapped away and she began backing into me and rubbing her arse all over my trouser bulge.

The feeling was too much and I came again so quickly and powerfully I almost knocked her over!

She chuckled and said she was glad she could do me a favour.

We swapped numbers and I gave her a call the following night.

Trouble is, the number turned out to be the local police station and I don’t know if she’s a copper or if she’s winding me up.

What do you reckon? SS, Hampshire

Sam says…

I THINK it’s you who’s having me on here, aren’t you? I LIKE to rip the end off it about six or seven times a day but now it’s starting to make my knob hurt. Any advice?

John D, email Sam says… YES – stop wanking so much!