YOU SILLY ARSE! Goole man busts gut with 2½ FOOT dildo

But the good news is . . . they’re ALL locked up for Xmas

SYLVIA’S eldest child is believed to be the product of a coupling with her own brother, Cyril, who was killed in a knife fight in 1982. He is currently serving eight months after breaching an order banning him from touching women on the bus. Strong as a bull, he needs up to a dozen police officers to restrain him. COLD- EYED Sylvia has served several sentences for controlling prostitutes in the Greater Stoke area but is currently serving six months for attacking a woman who remonstrated about her using the mother and baby space at a supermarket. BROTHER of matriarch Sylvia, he moved in to Bingley Crescent in 1995 after serving 15 years for armed robbery. He’s currently serving five years for attacking a blind neighbour with his own white stick for “looking at him in a funny way”. DOCS were astonished when a man turned up at their hospital with a two- and- a- half- foot- long sex toy up his arse.

The gigantic device ended up perforating his bowel after it was inserted for sexual gratification while he was drunk, according to BMJ Case Reports.

He is said to have “lost control” of the gadget and it got stuck up his rectum in a move that experts described as being “highly dangerous”.

Doctors told Sunday Sport: “This case is the first of its kind and exclusive due to the HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE: Where the dildo ended up RUB- a- dub- dub, there’s a TOPLESS beauty in the tub!

John Peters caught his gorgeous missus Julie having a dip and snapped away with his camera.

And good sport Jules, 31, was more enormous size.”

The unnamed man turned up at A& E at Northern Lincolnshire and Goole NHS Foundation Trust in severe pain.

He told doctors that he used the 30- inch toy ( a non- battery- operated device) up his backside while intoxicated.

He ended up having a stoma bag fitted to prevent waste being passed through his colon, and he had to be fed through a tube in hospital for NINE days.

Dr Saad Ikram said an X- ray showed a smooth shadow in the patient’s abdomen and further scans revealed he had in fact perforated his bowel.

The sex toy was eventually removed – along with part of the man’s large intestine. than happy to have her pic published in Britain’s brightest newspaper.

The Nottingham stunna said: “If you’ve got it, flaunt it!

“I really love the idea of all those people looking at my boobs.” STOMACH- CHURNING: Doctors removed the 30- inch sex device