GOOLE BABE PULLS FORD FOCUS WITH HER MINGE
WORLD- BEATING STRONGWOMAN FEAT
STURDY Kerry “Crackertwat” Delaney has the strongest genitals in all of Goole.
And she proved it last week by pulling a FORD FOCUS more than 100 yards… with her MINGE!
The 23- year- old East Yorks Bare Knuckle Boxing Champion sensationally won a £ 1,000 bet after she managed to tug the five- door family hatchback with her powerful pissflaps.
Kelly last night told Sunday Sport: “Me cousin Mikey he says I can’t pull a car with my fanny. So I says, ‘ Oh yes I can, you dog!’
“And he says, ‘ No you f** kin’ can’t’.
“So I tells him, ‘ I say WHAT could be better on a Sunday morning than a greasy fry- up in a proper caff?
Having your missus flop her tits out while you’re waiting for it, that’s what!
Jane Thomas, 30, gave hungover hubby Pete a lift last week as they waited for their bacon and eggs in Milton Keynes.
Pete, 32, said: “It was a real tonic. So I gave Jane my sausage!”
Would you like to see your sexy pic in Email – we’ll reply straight back. I can, you dog and I’ll bet you for it’.
“And so he takes the bet. And it’s a cash bet, sir.
“So I says cousin Tommy, a car’.
“And he gets us a car. A Ford it is.
“And I pulls that car with a rope held in my twat.
“I did it… and I won a £ 1,000!
“And that’s a lot of the gold.
“But my pa give me a to my ‘ Get us thick ear for bringing shame on the family.
“But £ 1,000 is £ 1,000. So that’s OK.
“I shall buy a new dog, I reckon.”
A spokesman for the world- famous Guinness Book of Records last night said there was “no record” for pulling a Ford Focus with the genitals and there “… isn’t likely to be. Not in the Guinness Book, anyway.”