TRUMP SEX DOLL KILLS VICAR
Kinky cleric loses cock in lookalike sex doll
A KINKY vicar bled to death after his penis was lacerated by the rectum of a badly- made DONALD TRUMP sex arse.
The Rev Tony Atkinson was found by his housekeeper naked and dead in a pool of blood with his flaccid member still inside the inflatable American President sex doll.
The vicarage in the small Wiltshire village of Detroit was sealed off while forensic officers conducted a search but last night authorities confirmed there were no suspicious circumstances.
Sharp
A source said they believed a manufacturing fault may be to blame for the vicar’s death.
They said: “It seems there was a very small, very sharp metal bit in the doll’s rectum.
“The vicar had thrust into the doll and lacerated a major blood vessel at a moment of maximum penile engorgement. He may have taken a while to bleed out.
“He could have called 999 for help but, who knows, maybe he was embarrassed.
“Let’s be honest, it would be a difficult call. ‘ Hello? I’m bleeding to death after slicing my cock open on a Donald Trump sex doll’. It’s not a call I’d like to make.”
The Trump sex doll was not the Rev Atkinson’s first sex- related mishap.
In 2012 he almost died after crashing his car while watching a XXX- rated vid starring former N- Dubz beauty Tulisa Contostavlos.
Glenda Spruce, secretary of the Detroit Parochial Church Council, said: “We had rather hoped that, after that Tulisa video business, the vicar might have seen fit to mend his ways.
“But it seems that he still had his little foibles. Donald Trump though? What’s that all about?”
Last night “The Donald” – a Taiwanese- made £ 79.99 sex doll modelled on the controversial U. S. leader – was still on sale on several adult websites.