WENGER TRANNY HOOKER SELLS SEX FOR £10

(…and yes, he takes it up the Arsene!)

BALLS IN THE AIR: Successful lookalike Pete tempts punters HARD TACKLE: Pete has to sell his to tranny lovers simply to make ends meet Spurs fans who fancied the idea of bumming Arsene Wenger up the arse while spitting abuse. I just gritted my teeth and thought of the money.”

Pete said that another few months leasing his arse as an Arsene Wenger lookalike should allow him to clear his debts and get a straight job, maybe at B& Q.

But he’s speaking out to warn others that the lookalike life is not plain sailing.

He said: “Anything can happen. I know one man who was a Rolf Harris lookalike. His trade disappeared overnight and he was abused in the street by people who mistook him for the real thing.

“Ended up dead in a bedsit eaten by his own cats. That, my friends, can be the reality of the lookalike game.” WINNER AND LOSER: Arsene ( and Pete Stoate PERSONALLY, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be different than this one? – Bob Monkhouse