OIL GIANTS STEAL ‘MIRACLE FUEL’ WHITE DOG POO
Here’s the REAL reason you don’t see it any more… READER PIC Tits out for the Leeds lads!
MYSTERY: Did oil giants have Dr Jones
killed?
IT’S double trouble when Kate Hardy and Marsha Ward go out on the town – because the Leeds lasses find it IMPOSSIBLE not to flash their boobs.
Kate, 24, laughed: “I just can’t help it. When I’ve had a drink, out they come. It’s all in good fun.”
IT’S a favourite theme of stand- up comics aping Peter Kay’s “Do you remember the Eighties?” routine…
Whatever happened to white dog poo?
Some have suggested that it’s to do with “snowflake” modern dogs not eating bones any more.
Others have blamed the EU. Still others have laid the blame at the door of global warming.
All WRONG!
At least, that’s what one conspiracy theorist has told Sunday Sport.
Our source, who asked to remain anonymous for reasons that will become clear, said: “Where is the white dog poo going? I’ll tell you where.
“The oil giants are paying teams of people to collect it at night. They have a huge warehouse near Lowestoft, where they keep it under armed guard.
“The reason? White dog poo is a miracle fuel that could power Britain forever!
“That’s why Big Oil wants to keep it under wraps.”
Our source told us that the superfuel properties of white dog poo were discovered by
Marsha, 22, said: “Sometimes we have a little kiss – it drives the lads wild!”
Would you like to see your sexy pic in
Email readerpics@ sundaysport. co. uk – we’ll reply straight back.
BLAST FROM PAST: Shitting mutt forcing out white poo eccentric Hull inventor Dr Ken Jones.
He said: “Dr Jones found that an ounce of white dog poo could run a specially- adapted car for 1,000 miles. Just like the DeLorean at the end of Back To The Future – only using poo instead of trash.
“And what happened to Dr Jones just as he was about to publish his findings in 2007? Disappeared.
“My guess is that Big Oil had him killed.
“And have you seen any white dog poo since 2007? I rest my case.”
Despite calling many service stations belonging to big oil companies in the Greater Manchester area, Sunday Sport has been unable to get a comment from the major petroleum companies.