FRENCH GARLIC MUNCHING CHAMPION BANNED FOR USING WHITE CHOCOL ATE MICE
THE French national sport of garlic- munching has been thrown into turmoil after a five- times champion was found CHEATING!
Sly Henri LeClerc swapped pungent garlic cloves for easy- to- chomp white chocolate mice and went on to win the 2021 competition held in Boulogne on Wednesday.
The event attracted huge interest as last year’s contest was cancelled on account of the Chinese death plague.
Officials were about to hand LeClerc, 67, the prestigious Marie LeFrouFrou Trophy for an unprecedented sixth time when an umpire called a halt.
Random testing of LeClerc’s garlic found a “substantial amount” of white chocolate mice hidden among the cloves.
Police had to spirit LeClerc away before furious garlicmunching fans tore him apart.
Jean- Paul Pommelier, garlic munching correspondent for the Le Monde newspaper, blustered: “Zis is, how you say, an outrage!
Stripped
“Never in all the years of competitive garlic munching in France has such a thing been even considered.”
At a meeting of the French Garlic- Munching Council, LeClerc was stripped of all his previous titles and his name will be permanently erased from the Marie LeFrouFrou trophy.
It is named after a French woman who, in 1940, sucked off the general commanding the German garrison in Paris.
In return, he let the garlicmunching event go ahead.
Jean- Paul Pommelier said: “LeClerc has sullied the sacred memory of Marie LeFrouFrou who bravely fellated the invading Boche to ensure that a French tradition would not die under the invader’s jackboot.”
LeFrouFrou was exposed as an enthusiastic collaborator after the war and died in exile in Switzerland, a fact considered “impolite” to mention in garlicmunching circles.
LeClerc is being held at a secret location for his own protection after garlic- munching purists started riots in Paris, Lyon and Marseilles.