TALIBAN BID TO BUY SUNDERLAND
SUNDERLAND A. F. C. are set to become the latest English club to have wealthy foreign owners.
But the megabucks deal will be the most controversial in English football yet, because it’s the infamous Taliban, rulers of Afghanistan, who hope the move will legitimise their regime.
SUNDERLAND are set to become the latest English football club to fall into the hands of wealthy foreigners.
But their prospective new owners will be the most controversial yet, because it’s the rulers of Afghanistan, the Taliban.
The loony extremists want to follow the example of the Saudi Arabians who’ve just bought Newcastle United, the UAE leaders who own Manchester City and the Qataris who own Paris St Germain.
The Taliban regime’s cultural minister has convinced his fellow ministers to invest the money they have stockpiled from years of international aid and heroin smuggling.
The Taliban believe that investing the cash into English football will convince the world that they are a serious government.
They have ambitions to join the UN and be recognised as rightful rulers of the country abandoned by the West earlier this year after decades of occupation.
And buying a football club is a fashionable way of achieving that.
A source close to the Afghan leaders said: “We want the world to take us seriously. At the
By REX ROWLANDS rex@ sundaysport. co. uk
moment people think we are a joke of a regime.
“All they talk about is the stoning of sinners, the banning girls from school and killing anyone who plays music.
“Of course, we are all those things, but we are so much more, which is why we want to buy a football club. Sadly we have a few cashflow problems at the moment so we can’t afford a Premier League team.
“Someone with a Netflix account suggested Sunderland after he had watched a documentary about them on there.
“After we had stoned him to death for his Western decadence it was agreed that the League One side are the perfect club.
“We will be making our approach in the next few weeks and don’t anticipate any problems passing the EFL’s fit and proper owner tests.”
A source at Sunderland said: “We haven’t heard anything and there is no way we would sell to the Taliban.”