THE VOICE OF YOUR BRITAIN Sex people have human rights, too!

ANYONE who has ventured into one of Britain’s vast and varied national parks in recent months knows that they are in crisis.

Long periods of paid idleness prompted many millions of us to head to the wide, open spaces and high ground that the Good Lord in His wisdom granted our blessed islands.

But, alas, those millions travelled to the national parks in their “motor cars”, ruining the very tranquillity they sought and causing mayhem as they filled parking areas and left their vehicles on any spare verge.

Now the national parks talk of banning tourist cars and forcing trippers to journey into the wilds on public omnibuses.

And here the iron Law of Unintended Consequences comes into play.

For if cars are banned from national parks, it amounts to a de facto ban on DOGGING.

And dogging is one area in which this nation still excels.

Our great Empire may have been given away, our armed forces may be a shadow of their former selves, our industries may lag behind the shrewd operators of the faraway Orient…

But when it comes to shabby encounters between sex maniacs in litter-strewn laybys, Britain is still a first-rate power.

To lose our position in this field would be a national shame, nay, catastrophe.

It cannot be beyond the wit of man to devise a system that prevents the mayhem wrought by the internal combustion engine yet protects the rights of the dogging community. Doggers’ rights are human rights. A nation that denies doggers their privileges under ancient laws is not a nation that can truly be called a democracy.