I was giving my fella a blowjob in the beer garden and we got caught on the pub CCTV

FIRST- TIME SEX

MELISSA: It was crap.

NICOLA: Mine was too. It wasn’t hard enough.

MELISSA: What do you mean?

NICOLA: It wasn’t rough enough. It was too nicey, nicey. I don’t do nice.

MELISSA: I wanted an orgasm and I didn’t have one, so I was disappointed.

NICOLA: I didn’t fancy the guy I slept with enough. In fact, he was unattractive and it was a big mistake.

MELISSA: You live and learn.

NICOLA: You certainly do.

WILLY SIZE

NICOLA: I think it matters. Do you? MELISSA: I am really not bothered. NICOLA: It can be too big but it can also be too small. If it is too big it is a waste, but if it is too small you need tweezers. MELISSA: There are other ways to satisfy a girl. They can use their tongue instead of their willy. I’m happy with five inches.

NICOLA: No, I want more than that.

It’s got to be at least seven inches.

CAUGHT IN THE ACT

MELISSA: I have never been caught having sex, but I have been caught doing other stuff.

NICOLA: Where were you?

MELISSA: It was in a beer garden. I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob and we were caught on CCTV. The manager said he had watched it, but I’m not too sure. I think he was lying.

NICOLA: I have never been caught – I am a good girl. You just do it very discreetly. MELISSA: I’m not sure that we were caught on CCTV because they would have made a bigger deal of it. Someone probably saw us, but that will be about it.

NICOLA: But you are a bad ass girl, that’s why you were caught.

FAKING ORGASMS

MELISSA: I have never faked an orgasm. NICOLA: I have.

MELISSA: Have you? I don’t fake, but I don’t need to. I almost always orgasm. I am very easily pleased.

NICOLA: I don’t believe that you have never faked! I have because I didn’t want him to feel bad about his performance. Instead of telling him he was crap, I just did it in a nice way. There is no need to be mean.

BEST SEX

NICOLA: Mine has to be when it is really rough – I like it rough. I love it when he is forceful and throws me around the room. We just connect.

MELISSA: What, with the bedroom wall? NICOLA: No, we both like it like that. We don’t do it that way every time we have sex, because then it would lose its appeal. MELISSA: My best sex is always when I have oral first. Sex is rubbish if you just go straight into it. I want a guy to take his time, to tease me and really get me in the mood. When I finally have sex, I am so turned on I almost always climax.

ONE- NIGHT STANDS

MELISSA: I have never had one.

NICOLA: I don’t believe in them, I think they are slaggish. If you have a one- night stand and the guy is married, that is just wrong. You should get to know them before sleeping with them.

MELISSA: I think I would feel cheap and used if I had one. Plenty of people do have one- night stands and that’s up to them, but they are not for me.

TURN- ONS

MELISSA: A good- looking lad with big muscles does it for me. I want someone who can look after me. And they have to be a good kisser.

If they are not, our relationship will not go anywhere.

NICOLA: Spiky hair does it for me. I also like it when a lad kisses my neck and shoulders – that really gets me in the mood. What do you like?

MELISSA: When a lad goes down on me and willingly puts his heart and soul into it. A lad who is good with his tongue is priceless and it never fails to get me in the mood. My orgasms are a lot stronger.

SPIT OR SWALLOW

NICOLA: I swallow. It is a waste if you spit. And it makes a mess.

MELISSA: I swallow every time too. Do you ever spit?

NICOLA: I have in the past, but I end up dribbling and it goes on the floor.

MELISSA: And it stains the carpet.

NICOLA: Try explaining that one to your parents! But seriously, if you spit it ruins the mood.

MELISSA: Sometimes I don’t let him get to that point, because once he has cum he is happy but I still want sex. I do it until he is turned on enough and then it is my turn to have some fun.

BUM FUN

NICOLA: I don’t like the thought of it. It is a gay thing. It is also supposed to really hurt. That puts me off in itself and I can never see myself trying it. What about you? MELISSA: Well, I guess I’m going to really shock you now because I love anal sex and I’ve done it many, many times.

NICOLA: You’re kidding me?

MELISSA: No, I’m not. And I don’t know why everyone thinks it’s really painful. With the

right amount of lube – and the right dick – it can be fantastic. Maybe you don’t want someone who’s got a really wide knob, but once it’s in, it feels really good. You’ve got loads of nerve endings back there and you can play with your clit at the same time. I’m telling you, my biggest orgasms always happen when I’m having anal sex.

WORST SEX

MELISSA: Where do I start?

NICOLA: At the beginning – and don’t leave any details out.

MELISSA: It was with a guy a bit ago. I said size doesn’t matter, but when he is clueless too, it does.

NICOLA: Don’t stop.

MELISSA: He was really small and useless – not a good combination. He wasn’t even bothered about me.

NICOLA: That all sounds like a total nightmare.

MELISSA: If you have feeling for a person, it doesn’t matter. But this time it did.

NICOLA: My worst experience is probably very similar. It’s happened a couple of times when it’s over before it has really begun. That’s really disappointing. You pretend you’re not bothered, but really you are naffed off.

OUTDOOR ACTION

MELISSA: I went out with this guy a couple of years ago who was into hiking. We went to Wales one weekend and were walking through this field when I got an urge to bonk him. It was a bit awkward because I was wearing shorts, but I took them off and we had a quickie behind this big tree. NICOLA: A group of us went camping in the French countryside and one night we got pissed in this little local bar. My fella and I decided to take a walk down by the river. There was a bench nearby, so he sat down, I took my knickers off and straddled him. It was amazing!

FANTASIES

MELISSA: Last year I was going out with a security guard at this huge depot and it gave me the chance to fulfil my fantasy by having sex in there. Knowing we were doing something really naughty was a big turn- on.

NICOLA: I had sex at a festival with a guy I was seeing. I’d always wanted to have sex in public and we waited until everyone was really drunk and we went back to our tent and did it. I loved knowing we might get caught – we could hear party people walking past the tent while we were shagging, too. It really did it for me.