VICAR CONNED – AFTER DOING BRITAIN’S BIGGEST PLOP
AFTER scoffing a third bowl of wife Magda’s plum dumplings, the Rev John Williams had an idea the consequences would be epic.
And, sure enough, the 64- year- old churchman’s prediction came true the very next morning when he laid a cable of truly BIBLICAL proportions.
His eyes watering at the recollection, John told Sunday Sport: “Shifting
that bugger was like moving heaven and earth, but I prayed for deliverance and eventually the Good Lord relieved me of my burden.”
It was only when he looked in the bowl that John realised he may have had something very special on his hands.
He said: “I called out for Magda to come and have a look, but she was having none of it. Honestly, it was sticking out of the water
like the Loch Ness monster.
“I took a photo and thought, ‘ This is definitely one for the Guinness World Records’.”
Unfortunately, while an expert in matters liturgical, the cleric is less adept at using the internet.
Scam
And rather than finding the REAL Guinness World Records website, he fell for an online scam.
John entered his details and uploaded his pic to the official- looking site and was asked for an “admin fee”.
He said: “I thought £ 500 was a bit steep, but figured they have to pay their bills, so I paid it on my card.”
Two weeks later, John got a certificate celebrating his milestone, that he hung on the wall of his vicarage in Biddulph, Staffs.
It was only later that he found his credit card details had been used to pay £ 500 to Hungarian prostitutes and buy two Uzi submachine guns from the Dark Web.
He said: “I contacted my credit card company and assured them that, as a vicar, I had not bought these items. I explained my transaction with what I thought was the Guinness World Records and the man on the phone said, ‘ Oh dear, oh dear. You’ve been had, padre!’
“I felt such a fool.”
The credit card company has agreed to refund the money charged to his card for the prostitutes and guns but he’s still out of pocket for the original payment to the fake website.
John added: “Now I’ve seen the spelling mistake on the certificate and it’s all too clear. I have been scammed – no doubt by Albanians!”