Skipping classes at the University of Life…

MY first photo shoot as a newly minted Sunday

Sport reporter was certainly one to remember.

I stripped off in a studio and a topless model poured a pint of

Boddingtons ale into my arse through a funnel and a hosepipe.

Sorry, I can’t remember exactly why but the gaffer was chuffed with the snaps and they went into the newspaper. Repeatedly.

Twenty- five years later, I am not in the least bit embarrassed by those photos.

Unlike, I’d imagine, the photos that have emerged of Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss ( above) recently.

Last week Rishi was pictured sitting on a dining room chair in a field of wheat.

Yes, really.

A while back, Liz Truss was snapped looking like someone who failed the audition for The Handmaid’s Tale.

Do Rishi and Liz know why they posed for these ludicrous snaps? Did they f** king ask?

Because this is more than about taking the piss out of some stupid pictures.

It’s about judgement.

Both these people are aiming to be leader of the Tory Party. One of them, come September, will be Prime Minister.

Nuclear

They’ll have vast responsibilities, not least the UK’s nuclear weapons.

Do we want Rishi’s finger on the button when he cannot see that “sitting in a corn field on what looks like my mam’s best dining room chairs” would make him look like a dick?

Or Trussy?

Did she ever think: “This will make me a laughing stock.”

And don’t throw back: “Boris on a zipwire.”

Boris knew he was going to look a fool in that stunt. That was the idea.

He wanted everyone to think he was a jester when, in fact, he was a coldly- calculating shyster.

He may be an ocean- going crook but Boris has a bit of nous about him.

Trussy and Rishi appear to have the common sense of a dead cat.

Rishi apparently can’t use a contactless debit card and the other week Liz got lost leaving a room – a room with just one door.

There are robots making cars up in Sunderland with more charisma than this lacklustre pair.

OK, they both went to Oxford University, so they are clearly neither dunces.

But the pair of them have been skipping classes at the University of Life and, by Christ, does it show…