Why we must save ourselves not the whale

AS an oil- producing nation, we should never be at the mercy of foreign despots for our energy.

But that’s where we are at. Because the price of oil is rigged by shadowy international financiers, our much-vaunted ‘energy security’ is held hostage to the whims and caprices of cigar-chomping plutocrats and hand-wringing globalists.

Thus it is that we dance like puppets to tunes played in snowy Moscovy and faraway Araby.

This cannot be a state of affairs that a proud imperial nation can bear.

So we must seek alternatives. Socialists, unwashed and unschooled, would have us believe that the very wind will power our tanneries, foundries and cotton mills.

And in their deluded minds, housewives may darn and knit in their drawing rooms under lights driven by vast windmills in every parish.

Derangement

Such is the derangement of the typical socialist mind.

So, where shall we get our precious oil?

The answer is staring us in the face.

We are a seafaring nation, with salt in our veins and the oceans as our friend.

And those oceans are filled with vast, swimming reservoirs of oil…

We speak, naturally, of the WHALES!

Once upon a time, every lantern in Britain was lit by oil from these leviathans of the deep, whose numbers were kept down by the thrilling hunt, as documented in the novel Moby Dick.

But now, thanks to rabble-rousing and agitation by the so-called ‘Save the Whale’ lobby, our seas are crowded with these giants which breed unchecked.

There, they present a danger to shipping and a menace to the casual sea-bather.

In the blubber of the whale lies the solution to our energy needs for this 21st century!

The ports of Hull, Ipswich, Grimsby and Whitby should once more hum with the bubbling of whale fat and the merry camaraderie of whaling crews.

Let us harvest the whale and step forward again into the light of prosperity!