I used to get called UGLY, now the ladies are lining up for SEXING!
CITY STAR HAALAND’S DONE WONDERS FOR LOOKALIKE DEAN’S LOVELIFE
GROWING up, Dean Stanley struggled with his self esteem after being bullied for his odd looks.
He felt so down about himself that by the age of 23 he had only slept with two women, one sex worker and a friend’s grandma.
But now the plasterer from Rochdale says he is drowning in pussy because he looks just like Manchester City’s goalscoring superhuman Erling Haaland, 22.
And since the Norwegian superstar joined the Premier League Dean reckons he has banged more than 200 women, which is better stats than Haaland’s record- breaking 17 goals. Speaking from the £ 150,000 detached three bedroomed home he shares with his parents, Dean said: “I was bullied quite a lot in high school.
“I remember asking girls out and them actually laughing at me.
“That taught me never to expect to get laid and I was pretty much resigned to life as a virgin. “Until my mate Liam’s gran came onto me at his 18th and let me get my dick wet. It’s not that weird – she was only 48 and didn’t have grey pubes or anything.
“After that I wanted more sex but no one would do it with me so I went to an escort with my first ever wage packet.
“Then everything changed this summer when I went for a night out in Manchester.
“Suddenly girls were throwing themselves at me.
“Some of them were calling me Erling and I had no clue about football. I prefer crown green bowling.
Banged
“When one of my mates filled me in on what’s going on I embraced it and I even bought a City top and put a profile on Tinder.
“I always make it clear that I’m not the real Erling Haaland, but these ladies don’t care.
“They want to fulfil a fantasy and I am happy to let them.
“I get so much action I have put a bed in the shed so I don’t disturb my mum and dad.
“The girls are literally queueing up for a sexing. I’ve easy banged 200 since he joined from Dortmund.”