I’ve sold so much ORANGE PAINT this month, I bought myself a new FERRARI !
ECO-NUTTERS BRING ON THE GOOD TIMES FOR DECORATING SUPPLIES BOSS . . .
THE antics of orange paint- chucking Just Stop Oil louts have enraged every rightthinking Briton over recent weeks…
The layabouts have squirted paint at Harrods, the HQ of oil lobby groups and, last week, luxury car showrooms in London.
Their antics have led to traffic jams and millions of people dying in the back of delayed ambulances.
Lucrative
But Brian Johnson is urging them: keep up the good work!
Not because the 56- yearold is a climate loon… it’s because he owns the biggest orange paint supplies firm in the south of England!
And demand from Just Stop Oil nuts is proving VERY lucrative.
In fact, so lucrative he’s just bought himself a new FERRARI!
Brian said his firm, Basingstoke Orange Paint Ltd, was close to going under before Just Stop Oil began their campaign.
He said: “We set up after a TV makeover show suggested using orange paint. For a while, we could not shift enough of the stuff but orders dried up as people realised orange is a hideous colour to paint your walls.
“I was about to fold the firm but then all these posh kids started coming in ordering huge amounts. It was only later that I
realised they were buying it to chuck about in London.
“In days, our fortunes turned around and we are now back in profit. I’d always promised myself a Ferrari as a runaround and now I’ve got one – all thanks to Just Stop Oil!”
Brian added that he’s also invested in a new set of patio heaters and can even afford to have the central heating turned on full, even when he’s not at home.
He said: “I’m going to send these climate boys a nice big hamper of steak as a thank you.”