Sunday Sport

If I can’t shove Heather Mills fish fingers up my arse... what’s the point?

- By SIMON DEAN simon@ sundayspor­t. co. uk

AFTER a long week monitoring diversity for a big London hospital trust, Barry Watson likes to relax…

By shoving a vegan fish finger made by Heather Mills’ food firm VBites up his TRUMPER!


But following the collapse of VBites last week, Barry’s innocent anal diversion could be a thing of the past.

And the 38- year- old, from Croydon, is properly fed up.

Unwed Barry said last night: “When I read that Heather’s firm had gone bust, my immediate thought was, ‘ What about my arse?’ I know it was pretty selfish of me. After all, people have lost their jobs.

“But there’s more to it than that. By showing a vegan fish finger up my arse, I was not only giving myself a bit of a treat, I was also helping to solve the problems of overfishin­g and global warming, and that.

“Every Heather Mills fish finger that doesn’t go up my arse is another step towards climate and biodiversi­ty disaster.”

Barry admitted that he’s had “dark thoughts” since hearing the tragic news that threatens to end his fish finger bum fun, but he also paid tribute to the NHS’s “enlightene­d” approach to staff mental health issues.


He said: “I’ve been given three weeks’ paid leave and grief counsellin­g, which will help, but it’s hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.”

Heather Mills, the ex- wife of former Beatles crooner Paul McCartney, launched VBites in 1993, producing plant- based alternativ­es in the meat, fish and dairy free sectors.

The company blamed its collapse into administra­tion last week on rising raw material costs and energy prices.

Ms Mills said that she was devastated by the collapse and paid tribute to her team, who she said had put “blood, sweat and tears” into the business over 30 years.

She said in a statement: “This is extremely distressin­g for me on a personal level but also for my wonderfull­y loyal and hard- working staff.”

 ?? ?? ON PAID LEAVE: Barry

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