ASKS… SO WHAT ABOUT BREAKAWAYS GETTING AXED?
WHEN I was the coolest kid in school, I would slick back my hair, wear my shirt collars up, and always carry a cheeky Breakaway bar in the pocket of my leather jacket.
Being so cool meant there was never any likelihood of the mere woman I call “mum” taking “away my Breakaway”. No chance.
After eating it in a fashionable way at lunchtime, I’d then go and watch the girls hanging upside down from trees. That was cool, too, in a gusset kind of way.
BREAKAWAY? Who the f** k ever used to eat Breakaways? The poor kids? The ones with the bad faux leather shoes from Freeman, Hardy and Willis?
I wouldn’t be seen dead with a Breakaway, then or now. No, if you had a statement to make, it had to be a Wagon Wheel in your lunchbox.
They’re a bit smaller than they used to be, mind. In my day, your Wagon Wheel would be about the size of an actual wagon wheel. Now they barely cover the palm of my hand.
Gordon Pustule, Seacombe
WHY are people are getting all excited about Breakaways now that they’re about to disappear off our shelves? I haven’t had one in years.
And there’s a good reason for that – the Tunnock’s Teacake. A dome of whipped up loveliness with jam and biscuit and smothered in chocolate.
The two shouldn’t even be in the same room. It’d be embarrassing enough being seen with a Club, but a Breakaway? I’d sooner have a fig roll.
Steve Gristle, Torbay
NO doubt there will be many sad people out there today mourning the impending loss of one of our finest confectionaries.
But is a Breakaway a biscuit, a bar of chocolate, or just something a bit shit that your mum insists on you having as your dad won’t touch them?
And how come KitKats, which are spectacularly dull, are always so bloody popular by comparison? Why am I so addicted to eating them? What’s in them? Smack?
Charlton Onpass, Sandwich
WE went through a strange phase in the 1970s and 80s, advertising everything as something you had to be seen with – even a biscuit bar.
But I sidestepped your Breakaways, your Clubs, and your Blue Riband blues.
And I laughed in the face of Wagon Wheels.
To this day I stick to my sweet snack of choice that has sustained me for decades now, and I see no good reason to change. I present to you, dear consumer, the soft, pink wafer of sheer chewy delight.