THE WORLD FAMOUS AGONY
If the caravan’s rocking don’t come a-knocking!
Dear Sam,
I’M a 31- year- old bachelor girl who works in the music business and I’m always on the lookout for new talent.
I’ve found that one of the best places to find young hopefuls is at fast- food restaurants.
Last week I was tucking into a burger when I saw a young lady in a barely- there skirt and tiny top.
I asked her if she wanted to be a pop star – and to come to my nearby office for a chat some time so I could explain how the industry works.
She was very up front, and said she would if I licked out her fanny in the restaurant’s toilets. I was turned on and for the first time got myself some lesbo action. It was fantastic. Sadly, she never turned up for an interview. Any advice?
EJ, north London
Sam says…
SHE sounds like a No. 1 just waiting to happen!
Dear Sam,
I HAD a large Lottery win and moved to a nicer area of town recently.
My new neighbour, a blonde in her 40s, invited me and my wife to a wine tasting party at hers the first week we moved in.
We got there and the house was full of fit women.
After a few glasses of wine some of the ladies stripped off and headed to the indoor swimming pool.
My naked neighbour led me to the hot- tub as I watched my wife walk into the snooker room with this woman’s husband and another bloke.
I shagged her but came quickly because I wanted to see what my wife was doing. When I eased the snooker room door open and saw my naked wife on the table as the two blokes fed their huge cocks into her mouth, wet fanny and tight bumhole.
Is this what rich folk get up to behind closed doors?
TP, Liverpool
Sam says…
SOMETIMES – if you don’t like it, see what the other neighbours are like.
Dear Sam,
I LOVE caravanning so much I get a stiffy just sat at home thinking about it.
I’m a 40- year- old single fella and I’ve been at it since I was a teenager.
And it’s always been the same old story – turn up, get the beers in and chat up the locals!
The first time that I went caravanning I pulled two really dirty lasses in their late teens.
I can still remember the sight of their hairy muffs as they both lay back on my pull- out bed waiting for me to sort them.
Two weeks ago, I was on the north Wales coast and as soon as I’d found a berth for my tourer and got myself sorted out, I spotted a couple of young ladies in their early 20s hanging round.
I got them to my caravan, to get out of the freezing cold weather, and after a couple of drinks to loosen us all up a bit we ended up playing a game of strip- poker.
And before long the two girlies were both butt- naked.
The game didn’t stop there though, as I dared them to snog each other – then start FINGERING each other’s holes.
My Johnson was straining at the loose material of my jogging bottoms by this point, so I fished it out and got one of the babes to suck on it while I got my fingers to work on the other’s glistening pussy.
And to top the evening off I had one of the little minxes sit on my face while the other rode my hard dick.
That’s why I love caravanning. Now I’m thinking of selling my house and living permanently on the road – I know winters can be pretty bleak in this country but you can always keep warm by shagging.
What do you think?
JW, Lincs
Sam says…
IF it gives you this much pleasure, go for it.
Dear Sam,
I’M 25 and have been with my girlfriend for nearly two years.
I love to cross dress but she won’t let me do it – often telling me “it’s gay” and that she would finish it if I wanted to keep doing it.
We don’t live together and I still have my own house, and often on the way home from work I’ll drop in and dress up in leather thigh- high heels and either a leather mini skirt and top or a leather dress.
I’ve tried to explain that it’s more a humiliation/ domination thing and how much I’d love for my girl to be involved.
But the furthest she has wanted to go is to put a vibrator up my bum, without me being dressed up.
Where do I go from here?
David, email
Sam says…
BIN her off and find yourself a new girl who’s more open- minded.