THAT’S NO YOLK!
Record smashed with 9 Creme Eggs up bum
NOTHING says Christ’s suffering on the Cross and His triumph over death than a thick milk chocolate shell, housing a white and yellow fondant filling.
That’s right, folks – we’re slap bang in the middle of Cadbury’s Creme Egg season.
A staggering 200million Creme Eggs are eaten in the UK every year – enough to make a pile TEN TIMES the height of Mount Everest.
But oddball Bruce Patterson doesn’t eat the sugary treats – he shoves them up his ARSE.
Patterson, 34, has held the unofficial word record of six anally- inserted Creme Eggs since 2010.
On Good Friday he smashed that record – by lodging NINE of them in his rectal cavity.
The proud singleton beamed last night: “I’m having some difficulty sitting down and I’ll be shitting fondant for a week but I know the record is secure for years to come.
“I think nine eggs is at the very limit of human anal endurance.”
Strict Guinness Book of Record rules mean that Largest Number of Cadbury’s Creme Eggs Up The Arse is not officially- recognised.
But Brian is famous enough in his home town of Chorley, Lancs.
He said: “I’m known as Chorley’s Eggs Up The Arse Man. You can’t buy an accolade like that.”