KIM JONG UN IS A SPACE ALIEN

Sunday Sport - - FRONT PAGE - By BRAD CHADWICK news@ sun­daysport. co. uk

NORTH Korea’s barmy despot Kim Jong- Un is a blood­thirsty SPACE ALIEN, whose in­ter­ga­lac­tic species are bent on tak­ing over the world.

That’s the chill­ing con­clu­sion of a top se­cret NASA and Pen­tagon re­port which was leaked on­line last week.

The re­port, en­ti­tled “Pos­si­ble ex­tra- ter­res­trial ori­gin of North Korea high com­mand”, states that an­a­lysts have been ex­am­in­ing the ap­pear­ance and be­hav­iour of Kim, 32, and sev­eral of his top North Korean gen­er­als.

The re­port sug­gests that far from be­ing a Far Eastern na­tion­al­ist strong­man, Kim is an ET sent as an “ad­vance guard” to desta­bilise the planet ahead of a full- scale in­va­sion from outer space.

His sabre- rattling, mil­i­tary build- up and nu­clear tests are noth­ing more than an at­tempt to di­vert at­ten­tion away from an in­com­ing in­ter­ga­lac­tic bat­tle fleet, the re­port chill­ingly warns.

The idea that Kim may be an alien was first sug­gested by the CIA’s so- called “Blue Sky Imag­i­neer­ing” de­part­ment, which was given a re­mit in 2010 to “think the un­think­able”.

Their the­ory that Kim comes from outer space was put to the test by NASA sci­en­tists – and proved ter­ri­fy­ingly close to the mark.

Kim’s fa­cial char­ac­ter­is­tics were com­pared with non- ET Kore­ans and found to be “widely at vari­ance” with hu­mans com­ing from the Korean penin­sula.

Rare footage of Kim ad­mir­ing food ap­peared to show him lick­ing his lips us­ing a highly- de­vel­oped “space tongue”.

And dig­i­tal anal­y­sis of his speech pat­terns found the dic­ta­tor’s voice oc­ca­sion­ally slipped into a tone “slightly like the Daleks off Doc­tor Who”.

Ex­perts also be­lieve that Kim’s fond­ness for CHEESE is an­other fac­tor which points to him com­ing from outer space.

The re­port states: “Long pe­ri­ods of space flight in­evitably weaken the bones and some form of cal­cium boost is ur­gently re­quired.

“An ex­tra ter­res­trial want­ing to re­plen­ish his cal­cium lev­els would best do so through con­sum­ing large quan­ti­ties of cheese.

Hel­mets

“Aliens would be thrilled and en­chanted by cheese, which they can­not get at home on ac­count of there be­ing no cows in space.”

Even Kim’s out­landish hair was found to re­sem­ble the shape of alien “space hel­mets” de­scribed by up­wards of 400 peo­ple who claim to have been abducted by UFOs.

The clincher is be­lieved to be a highly- clas­si­fied im­age from a CIA spy satel­lite show­ing an “im­pact crater” in the desert close to the city of Hamhung – pos­si­bly cre­ated

SHITTING HIM­SELF: Pres­i­dent Trump

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.