KIM JONG UN IS A SPACE ALIEN
NORTH Korea’s barmy despot Kim Jong- Un is a bloodthirsty SPACE ALIEN, whose intergalactic species are bent on taking over the world.
That’s the chilling conclusion of a top secret NASA and Pentagon report which was leaked online last week.
The report, entitled “Possible extra- terrestrial origin of North Korea high command”, states that analysts have been examining the appearance and behaviour of Kim, 32, and several of his top North Korean generals.
The report suggests that far from being a Far Eastern nationalist strongman, Kim is an ET sent as an “advance guard” to destabilise the planet ahead of a full- scale invasion from outer space.
His sabre- rattling, military build- up and nuclear tests are nothing more than an attempt to divert attention away from an incoming intergalactic battle fleet, the report chillingly warns.
The idea that Kim may be an alien was first suggested by the CIA’s so- called “Blue Sky Imagineering” department, which was given a remit in 2010 to “think the unthinkable”.
Their theory that Kim comes from outer space was put to the test by NASA scientists – and proved terrifyingly close to the mark.
Kim’s facial characteristics were compared with non- ET Koreans and found to be “widely at variance” with humans coming from the Korean peninsula.
Rare footage of Kim admiring food appeared to show him licking his lips using a highly- developed “space tongue”.
And digital analysis of his speech patterns found the dictator’s voice occasionally slipped into a tone “slightly like the Daleks off Doctor Who”.
Experts also believe that Kim’s fondness for CHEESE is another factor which points to him coming from outer space.
The report states: “Long periods of space flight inevitably weaken the bones and some form of calcium boost is urgently required.
“An extra terrestrial wanting to replenish his calcium levels would best do so through consuming large quantities of cheese.
“Aliens would be thrilled and enchanted by cheese, which they cannot get at home on account of there being no cows in space.”
Even Kim’s outlandish hair was found to resemble the shape of alien “space helmets” described by upwards of 400 people who claim to have been abducted by UFOs.
The clincher is believed to be a highly- classified image from a CIA spy satellite showing an “impact crater” in the desert close to the city of Hamhung – possibly created
SHITTING HIMSELF: President Trump