Hor­ror as looka­like searched for scraps dur­ing fac­tory porn shoot

Sunday Sport - - FRONT PAGE - By SI­MON DEAN si­[email protected] sun­daysport. co. uk

IF you have a Gregg Wal­lace looka­like porn ac­tor on your books, you have to make a Gregg- themed adult movie.

But grot pro­duc­ers Splat­ter avoided the cliché of 54- year- old ex- green­gro­cer Gregg’s fa­mous show, Masterchef.

In­stead, they de­cided to base their movie in a food fac­tory – re­flect­ing the real- life Gregg’s pre­sent­ing slot on his lesser BBC hit In­side the Fac­tory.

But, as mini- stud Kyle Watson, 41, found to his cost, fac­to­ries can be dan­ger­ous places – and he was dragged to his doom into a sausage- mak­ing ma­chine.


Iron­i­cally, the ma­chine was usu­ally used to grind in­gre­di­ents for VE­GAN sausages, and it will now have to be scrapped as meaty Kyle’s in­nards have con­tam­i­nated it be­yond hope of clean­ing.

Last night Splat­ter MD Fer­gus Neale said: “In all my days, I’ve never seen any­thing so hor­rific.

“One mo­ment Kyle was there, the next he was pulled into that ma­chine by his itty- bitty legs.

“Have you ever seen a minced mid­get?

“Be­lieve me, it’s not a pretty sight. Poor lit­tle f** ker didn’t even have chance to scream.”

It is thought the hun­gry dwarf was search­ing for scraps of food when he fell foul of the sausage ma­chine’s mech­a­nism at the east London site ( which can’t be named for le­gal rea­sons), while health and safety au­thor­i­ties launch an in­ves­ti­ga­tion.

Mean­while, Splat­ter Pro­duc­tions have halted film­ing as a mark of re­spect for Kyle. Mince

Fer­gus Neale added: “We had big dreams for that lit­tle guy. Now those dreams lie in tat­ters… well… mince.

“Not only that, the owner of the fac­tory says he’ll sue us for the cost of a new ve­gan sausage ma­chine.

“He says he can’t use it now as ve­gans won’t touch any­thing from a ma­chine that’s had meat in it, the fussy f** kers!”

DY­ING OF HUNGER: Kyle met sticky end on adult film shoot

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.