GRAN OFFERS SEX ACT FOR KEVIN THE CARROT TOY
A BOOZY gran accosted shoppers near an Aldi store – offering ORAL SEX to anyone who could give her a prized Kevin the Carrot stuffed toy.
Gwen Collins, 57, had promised her grandkids she’d get them one of this year’s must- have toys but was forced to resort to desperate measures after she spunked all her cash on booze.
Parents ushered their kiddies to safety in Kirkcaldy, Fife, as Gwen shrieked: “I’ll give yous a blowie for a Kevin the Carrot… who’ll give me a Kevin for a blowie? And I’ll swallow the lot.
“I need a Kevin the Carrot for the weans!”
“Weans” is Scottish for “young children”.
Eventually, Collins was escorted to safety and taken home.
Last night, as she posed at home for Sunday Sport in just her bra, she said: “My daughter said it was my last chance and that if I didnae lay off the pish, I’d no see the weans again. She said that if I could get them a wee Kevin the Carrot, I could see them.
“And look at me now, I’ve blown it. I’ll nae see them weans again.”
Back in 2016, Gwen claimed to have been bummed up the arse by space aliens behind the Kirkcaldy branch of Farmfoods – a claim that has never been disproved by Scottish UFO experts.
There were chaotic scenes last week with reports of huge queues as people tried to snap up the sought after toys – leading to “massive scraps and crushing”.
Made famous by Aldi’s Christmas advert, the collection includes Kevin and Katie, their kids Jasper, Chantenay and a baby.
The most prized toy – a one- metre tall cuddly Kevin – costs £ 19.99 in store and is sold along with smaller £ 3.99 versions of the family.
A- PEELING: Gwen made a desperate attempt to secure toys
SOUGHT AFTER: Kevin the Carrot
NOSH: The toys Gwen craved