Mum reveals devastating impact of drinking in pregnancy
WARNING FOR EXPECTANT WOMEN
A BRAVE mum has spoken of how she drank alcohol during pregnancy which harmed her child for life.
Karen Slater, 52, made her confession as a warning to others not to make the same mistake.
Mum-of-four Karen, from Newcastle, said she was born into a life where alcohol abuse and violence were common and she sought solace in alcohol, drugs and self-harm.
In 1994, she became pregnant for the second time while in what she described as an abusive relationship.
“During my second pregnancy I was nervous and anxious all of the time,” she said. “I would drink wine or vodka and lemonade as it helped me to relax.
“I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I felt worthless and inadequate as a mother, girlfriend and daughter – so I drank.”
Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD) is the term given for a range of preventable mental and physical disabilities that can be caused when a developing baby is exposed to alcohol in the womb.
The UK has one of the highest rates in the world, with an estimated 61.3 cases per 10,000 births compared to a global average of 15 per 10,000.
Meanwhile, a recent survey from Balance, the North East Alcohol Office, shows nearly four in 10 people aged 18 to 44 (38%) are unaware of the Chief Medical Officer’s guidelines to drink no alcohol during pregnancy.
When her daughter was born, Karen struggled to feed and cried almost constantly. By this time she had left her partner and was bringing up her two young children as a single parent.
“We were often at the doctors or the hospital with my daughter,” she said. “She had hearing problems and breathing problems.
“As a toddler, she struggled to give cuddles and kisses.
“She couldn’t sit still and would throw things around. When we went to play group, her behaviour was very different to the other children. People wouldn’t invite us round to their houses.
“Physically, she had small legs, a thin upper lip and smooth philtrum [ridge between nose and lips]. When she was in school, we were told she had learning and behavioural difficulties and thought it was ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
She had a bad memory and struggled with her speech. It was like she had made up her own language.”
Karen’s drinking was still there in the background until she hit rock bottom and knew she had to seek help.
She became sober when her daughters were 13 and 10, but the issues with her younger daughter only became more apparent.
Speaking out to mark International Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder Day, which fell on Wednesday, she said: “When my daughter was a teen
ager,ager, sheshe waswas oftenoften inin accidentsaccidents and would end up in hospital or in a police cell.
“She fell into her own problems with alcohol and drugs. It was scary.”
Karen’s daughter was officially diagnosed with FASD two years ago when she was 24.
“She’s 26 now but she struggles with the social cues people take for granted,” said Karen.
“She will often offend people and has a lack of empathy – but she doesn’t understand and keeps repeating the same mistakes.”
Karen now has four children, including two teenagers aged 15 and 11. Her second pregnancy was the only one she drank during, and it has taken her a long time to work through the feelings of guilt.
“It has been hard to get over the guilt. FASD is lifelong but preventable.
Nine months is a short time not to drink – compared to a lifetime of hardship for the whole family. A lot of
FASDFASD childrenchildren getget lostlost inin thethe systemsystem or misdiagnosed. We only got the diagnosis two years ago even though I was always open and honest about my drinking.”
Now Karen is doing everything she can to raise awareness of the impact the cycle of alcohol abuse has had on her and her family. She is a member of the FASD Network based in the North East and regularly gives talks on her experiences.
Her first book “My Journey Through Hell” was published earlier this year.
She said: “There is still a lot of shame around drinking in pregnancy.
“It’s hidden away and isn’t talked about enough. That’s why I decided to break my anonymity and speak out. If you’re pregnant and struggling, I urge you to seek help from your midwife.
“Don’t keep it a secret. There are amazing people out there who will support you without judgement.”
Balance is marking FASD Day by highlighting Karen’s story and calling for more action to tackle the problem.
The government has promised to consult on calorie labels on alcohol later this year to tackle obesity – but Balance is arguing that health warnings such as Chief Medical Officer advice for women to drink nothing during pregnancy are equally important.
Sue Taylor, partnerships manager at Balance said: “Karen has shown great courage in sharing her story and showing mums-to-be that help is there for you.”
Nine months is a short time not to drink – compared to a lifetime of hardship for the whole family
KAREN SLATER