‘It starts a fairy tale and ends in a nightmare... bit by bit they break you down
VICTIM OF STALKER TELLS OF ORDEAL
TERRORISED by her stalking, controlling ex, a woman thought she would never be able to escape the relationship which was ruining her life.
The nurse was a confident, outgoing mum with a successful career before she met bullying Gary Maddison on a dating app.
After moving into the North Tyneside home she shared with her two children, the 37-year-old began taking over his partner’s life – telling her what to wear and how to act.
And when the nurse finally found the strength to leave the toxic, controlling relationship, Maddison refused to leave her alone, bombarding her with vile messages and suicide threats.
Maddison, of Kirklea Road, Houghton-le-spring, has now been jailed for four years after being convicted of stalking and engaging in controlling a relationship.
And today his victim has told of her ordeal as she warns all women to stay away from Maddison and other controlling men.
She said: “I didn’t see it for what it was, but I knew in my heart of hearts that something wasn’t right.
And in a warning to other women, she said: “Look for the red flags. These men select victims from places like Tinder and Plenty of Fish.
“They take their time getting to know you, work out your vulnerabilities and use them to their advantage to exploit and abuse. It starts a fairy tale and ends in a nightmare. Bit by bit they break you down.”
The woman met Maddison in the summer of 2016 after they began chatting on the dating app Tinder.
Their relationship quickly became serious, but at the time the victim did not spot any of the warning signs she can now see clearly.
“A very intense relationship is how I would describe it,” she said. “He seemed like this perfect, lovely caring man. But if it feels too good to be true, it probably is. Now when I look back it’s so obvious.”
It was about three months into the relationship that things started to change, the woman explained.
“My friends started to notice I wasn’t spending much time with them,” she said. “But I put that down to being in a new relationship. But every time I introduced him to my friends there was an atmosphere.”
After six months together Maddison moved in with the mum.
“I think once he was firmly through the door was when things really changed,” she explained.
“He lost his job and he started relying on me financially, so I was starting to slip financially. He started working night shifts and that made things worse. He would always kick off if there was noise during the day. There were lots of rules and regulations.
“I always felt like I was walking on egg shells.”
And while Maddison was attempting to control his partner’s every move he was doing exactly what he wanted, she said.
“There was constantly women messaging him,” she said. “Even close friends came to me saying he had sent them things.”
But every time the woman thought about leaving, Maddison would convince her to stay.
“There were alarm bells going,” she said. “But every single time he messed up, the make-up was a thousand times better. He was so lovely and he would say: ‘You’re beautiful, you’re amazing.’”
The woman did however realise that her personality was changing, after Maddison began to make derogatory comments about the way she dressed.
“Little things started to change,” she continued. “I was always a very quirky person, I used to wear little flowery dresses and bright red lippy. But he started saying things. I’m confident, I’m outgoing, I’m bubbly, but I started to notice I was changing.”
The victim says that whenever she went out with friends, Maddison would send her messages constantly, and even started to turn up to check she was where she said she was.
She eventually found the strength to ask Maddison to move out, but said she wanted to remain in the relationship.
“I kept the relationship going, but that’s when things really started to change,” she said. “He started pushing me around. He was physically violent to me in front of my children.”
Things came to a head on the mum’s son’s birthday when she says Maddison accused her of sleeping with her ex after he gave her some leftover birthday cake to take home.
But when the woman tried to finish the relationship for good, Maddison threatened to take his own life, she said. “Every time I tried to leave I would get a suicide threat,” she said.
In late 2019 she sought help from the domestic abuse charity Harbour, and with their support she managed to break free from Maddison’s clutches and end all contact with him.
However, Maddison responded by stalking her. In December 2019, the victim reported him to the police, but while officers were in her house, he hand-delivered a Christmas through her letterbox, she said.
“He was arrested that day and bailed and told not to contact me in any way. The police came out and changed all my locks at this point,” she said. Christmas came and went – this was a horrific time for me and I really struggled, however with support of the police and Harbour I got through.
“In January 2020, once the children started back to school, was when the stalking started.
“He followed me on the afternoon school run – waving at me in his car.
“Bearing in mind he wasn’t meant to be anywhere near me I reported this to the police and was told he would be arrested for breaching bail.
“The following day, as the police hadn’t managed to find him, he followed me again at the same time on the school run, but this time he was sat stationary in his car watching me waiting for me to cross the road.
“Unbeknown to Gary I had a friend following me in a different car behind so he was witness to the whole thing.
“Later that evening he added me on Snapchat – a social media platform. He was arrested again and charged.”
Maddison denied the offences he was accused of, but was found guilty following a trial at Newcastle Magistrates’ Court. As he was sentenced at Newcastle Crown Court, Vince Ward, prosecuting, explained how Maddison attempted to control his victim.
“He sought to control that activity by sending text messages to check where she was and who she was with.
“He was always suspicious of her activity and repeatedly accused her of flirting with other men,” he said.
“He would describe her as looking slutty when she went out calling her a slag and w **** . He would describe her top as being too low and her skirt being too short. He described concern about exposing the intimate parts of her body by the clothing she wore. He also took issue with her choice of lipstick.”
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The court also heard of incidents when Maddison was violent towards his partner including one when he slammed a door in her face and she suffered a black eye as a result.
On another occasion, he pushed her against a glass door which broke and she was injured from the shards of glass. Maddison also bent her fingers back causing bruising and swelling and used to “grab her arms and wrists”, the court was told.
Her five-year-old child also witnessed a terrifying attack which saw Maddison pin the woman to the stairs, rip her shirt off and stab her in the buttocks with a vape pen after he became jealous when her ex and father of her child brought a cake for their child’s birthday.
Then in in February 2020, Maddison reported her to the police and then the Nursing and Midwifery Council in April accusing her of stealing drugs from work and soon after that he also reported her to social services for child abuse and neglect. However, both investigations into the accusations led to no action.
Maddison was found guilty of two offences of stalking and engaging in controlling a relationship. For the third stalking offence, he indicated his guilty plea at Newcastle Magistrates’ Court on March 21, 2022.
Sentencing him, Judge Christopher Prince told Maddison: “If there is anything a parent or professional will know is that there is nothing more concerning than being accused of being a bad parent. You targeted those areas of the life of the complainant.
“You wanted to cause as much upset as possible.”
Maddison was jailed for a total of four years and must pay £170 victim surcharge. The judge also put in place a restraining order.
After seeing her ex brought to justice the victim is slowly trying to rebuild her life. But she admits she is far from being the person she once was.
“I suffer from horrific Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),” she said.
“I have undergone extensive counselling.”
AN ex-soldier who said he hid a camera to spy on a woman because he wanted “to recreate the excitement of his time as a surveillance officer in the Army” has been told that his claim is “nonsense.”
Peter Cartwright left his victim feeling “physically sick” after she saw a red light in her laundry basket – and found it was a camera.
Cartwright, 44, later told his victim he was sorry and that he did it because, “he fancied her.” He said that he had only put the camera there that day.
But on Thursday, Judge Howard Crowson told the Army veteran that he rejected his mitigation: “It’s nonsense. If you wanted to carry out exciting surveillance work you don’t need to do it on a naked female, do you?”
Cartwright’s barrister Rod Hunt told the judge that if his client had been on legal aid he would have asked for the court to take into account a psychiatrist’s report on him, when sentencing him. But Mr
Hunt told Teesside
Crown Court: “The defendant can’t afford to have a report done.”
Judge Crowson told Mr Hunt that there was no need for a report after post traumatic stress disorder had been ruled out for Cartwright. The former soldier – who now works as a production operator, making doors and windows – experienced explosions on tours of duty and is now deaf in one ear.
Mr Hunt also said that his client had been in the dock at Teesside Magistrates’ Court the day before, but that that offence was because he had simply forgotten to hand in rounds of ammunition, before he left the army in 2018.
Cartwright was fined after police followed up a complaint from his ex-partner, and the ammunition was found in his garden shed.
The court heard that the woman Cartwright had been spying on, was extremely distressed after discovering the camera on November 17, 2021. In a statement she said: “It was the nastiest shock I’ve had in my life” and that she now suffers from panic attacks.
Cartwright was arrested and admitted to police that he had been spying on the woman for his own sexual gratification. He later admitted to probation that he had put the camera in the woman’s house on a number of previous occasions.
The judge looked over to the public gallery, where the victim was sitting, as he said that the maximum prison sentence he could give was two years. Turning to Cartwright, he said: “I’m not convinced your remorse is genuine; I think it’s more likely regret that you were discovered.
“Although Mr Hunt has argued strongly for me to suspend your sentence, I do take the view that an immediate custodial sentence is required because of the harm you have caused.”
Cartwright, of Oxford Road in Hartlepool, was jailed for eightmonths. He was made the subject of a sexual harm prevention order, which restricts his online activity, for the next sevenmonths and the judge granted an indefinite restraining order, prohibiting Cartwright from contacting his victim.
I’m not convinced your remorse is genuine; I think it’s more likely regret that you were discovered.
JUDGE HOWARD CROWSON