Rosier outlook for carer mums
A UNIQUE charity has been hailed as a “lifeline” for providing some muchneeded respite for struggling mums.
Based in Cullercoats Methodist Church, Smell the Roses runs retreat days for mums and female carers who have children with additional needs.
The charity offers them the chance to come and chat with other mums over breakfast after dropping their children off at school, to enjoy refreshments alongside craft or pamper activities or provide a quiet space.
Founder Pauline Grant, who lives in Whitley Bay, came up with the idea to set up the charity in 2017, inspired by her family’s experiences and hearing ‘struggling’ friends’ stories.
While developing the charity, Pauline had market research carried out by University College London – who found that her idea was the only one of its kind in the country.
“We are unique,” Pauline said of Smell the Roses. “They couldn’t find anyone else offering what we do in the UK. So that’s quite exciting.”
After Smell the Roses achieved charity status in 2019 and began work to provide mums with support, Pauline, 50, was blown away by the response she received.
“The thing that has been most surprising to me is the physical transformations of the mums,” Pauline said.
“Some mums come in in the morning, and you can tell they’ve had a bad morning. But by the time they’ve had breakfast and are doing the first activity, it’s like they’re a different person – that’s the thing that really shocked me.”
Pauline added that coming to a retreat day for the first time can prove emotional for the mums.
“Generally within the first few minutes of her arriving there are tears, because she’s just incredibly overwhelmed by the fact that we’re doing everything for her that day,” she said. “Just asking whether they’d like tea or coffee is enough to set them off.”
As well as running virtual activities for mums during Covid lockdowns and more recently offering overnight residential stays in venues including Morpeth Castle, the charity also puts together pamper packages to send out to mums, and last year sent out some small Christmas gifts to customers.
“One of the mums just burst into tears,” Pauline recalled. “She said: ‘this is going to be the only thing I’ll open on Christmas Day’. It’s honestly heartbreaking sometimes.”
Pauline says that the retreats have a huge positive impact. “One mum said that when she finishes a craft it gives her a sense of achievement, and a sense of pride in herself when she ‘feels like she’s always failing,’” she said.
“It’s just about time – time for themselves that they never have,” she added. “Usually, they’re not even on the list of priorities – but when they come here, they’re at the top.”
Pauline is looking into running activities for dads in the future. Mums interested in taking part in a retreat day can get in touch with Smell the Roses via its website – smelltheroses. org.uk/ – or Facebook page.