A Be honest, but don’t mention the war!
t a time when the majority of the country is sticking two fingers up to our EU partners, I find myself holding out an olive branch.
Well, I say olive branch, it’s invariably a fancy cocktail that sometimes has an olive in it. I’ve started dating a German.
I know, I know, don’t mention the war and all that. Turns out they’re pretty laid back about the war thing.
Even the taunt from travelling England fans of ‘Two world wars and one world cup’ sung to the tune of Camptown Races doesn’t particularly rile the Germans.
That may have something to do with the fact that despite losing two world wars, they are now the world’s fourth largest economy, while we trail in their wake.
On the football front too, we perhaps need to rein in our boasting.
They have won the world cup four times to our one. Ah, yes, the England fan will cry “but we beat Germany to win our world cup.” Good point. But we did have home advantage … and we were only playing half of Germany (it was only West Germany back in ‘66 remember).
I mention this because in the short time I’ve been with The German (as she’s affectionately known) she’s pointed out some cultural differences which may well have a bearing on the bigger stage.
Why, she asks, do the English struggle with saying what they think?
She has a point. In restaurants we sit around moaning about the food we’re served, but when the waiter asks if everything’s okay, we nod appreciatively and gush ‘yes thanks.’ Soon as the waiter is out of earshot, we’re back to moaning.
This would never happen in Germany, she says. It’s why restaurants survive and thrive. The customers always complain and pass comment, and the restaurant acts on those concerns. In England, a failing restaurant has no idea why customers don’t come back. Unless the Germans are in town, of course.
She blames our politeness. And cited me as the perfect example. She calls it the ‘three times rule.’ It goes something like this:
“Would you like a slice of cake?” “No thanks.” “Are you sure?” “Well, just a sliver.” “There’s plenty to go around.”
“Okay then, I’ll take that one …”
We need to be asked three times! We want the cake, but politeness tells us to say no from the start. If people keep asking they eventually get to the truth.
If you asked a German if they would like a slice of cake, they’d say “Yes, a large slice please. I’m hungry.”
It may be why our EU negotiations are stalling. We take the emphatic ‘no’ to our idea of a ‘good deal’ Brexit as just a polite rebuttal that will change if we keep asking. We are heading for trouble.
I may be wrong of course, but what do you think?
No, really, what do you think?
Honestly, what do you think?