The impact of bereavement
It is always hard to lose someone, but when a child or young person experiences loss they can feel particularly isolated because their friends and peers are less likely to have gone through the same thing.
This 15-year-old contacted us for support because, like so many other children going through bereavement, they didn’t feel like anyone really understood:
“My dad passed away a few months ago. We were very close – I could talk to him about anything and we would always have so much fun together.
“I feel so alone. None of my friends, or people I know, have gone through the same thing, and it’s just so hard for me because it was so sudden and unexpected.
“All I want is to talk to someone who is going through the same thing I am, because no one understands how it feels losing a parent at this age.
“I’m trying to stay strong, but I miss him so much and I don’t know how to feel better.
“I feel like maybe talking to someone going through the same thing I am will make me feel better.”
Grief can affect people in different ways. Sometimes a young person might feel confused or like they can’t handle things, sometimes they can feel scared, numb or that they’ve lost control.
A lot of the time, children and young people worry that they’ll never feel okay again.
These feelings can happen immediately after a loss, but it can take a while to start processing the grief.
There is no right timescale for dealing with bereavement. Sometimes it can feel like taking three steps forward, then two steps back.
However, a child or young person feels, it is really important for them to understand that there is no one right way to grieve, and they shouldn’t put pressure on themselves to feel better straight away.
It is important for them to have someone to talk to about how they’re feeling.
We always recommend that a child or young person speaks to someone they trust, like a family member or close family friend, a teacher or another member of staff at school.
Our Childline counsellors are also there when a child or young person needs them, and for those who want to speak to others going through the same experience we have a dedicated message board for those going through bereavement.
For free confidential advice and support about any worries, children and young people can contact Childline on 0800 1111 or www. childline.org.uk