Teens questioning their sexuality

Teenage years can be a time when lots of young people start questioning how they feel about a lot of things – where they fit in, the types of music they like, where they want to go in life, and their sexuality. It can be quite confusing for some young people when they start to have feelings they may not have anticipated. Some young people know from an earlier age that they are attracted to members of the same sex, but for others this can be something they struggle against for many years. This isn’t always because the young person has no support. One young person told us: “I hate my life because I’m gay. I’ve only ever told one of my closest friends, but I have loads of friends and an amazingly supportive family but I’m constantly sad and worried because I know that one day I’ll have to tell them the truth. “I know that if I told my family the truth they wouldn’t react too badly, but I know it would be awkward and life would never be the same again.” Often we have young people tell us that they’re not really sure what it means if they ‘like’ someone, or they’re scared about how people might react when they find out. Some young people worry about what it would mean for their community or religion, and for a lot of young people their sexuality isn’t as simple as being gay or straight – they may need to find a way of describing their sexuality that fits how they feel. There are some key things for young people to remember about sexuality. Firstly, sexuality is not a choice so if you don’t seem to fit with other people’s expectations that’s not your fault. Other people may need to adjust their expectations. ‘Coming out’ can be a tough experience, but it often gets easier the more you tell people. It takes people different amounts of time to understand their sexuality. Some people know from an early age, but it’s fine if you don’t. Sexuality can also change over time, but this is OK too. For free confidential advice and support about any worries, children and young people can contact Childline on 0800 1111 or www. childline.org.uk