Wanted: Elitist know-alls for top drawer city quiz league

Wanted. More teams for elitist quizzes. May be of particular interest to quiz snobs like me. The Sunderland Quiz League currently has six teams based in bars around the city: Ashbrooke, Chaplin’s, Navy Club, Newbottle, Prior and Ship Isis. It isn’t really snobby, it’s great fun. But you do need to know your onions. Literally.

There are people in the league who annoy themselves if their knowledge of monocotyledonous flowering plants (onions) comes up short, because there’s nothing worse.

I’m familiar with monocotyledonous flowering plants. But only because I just Googled it. You see, I’m a lesser player in a lesser team.

I play for the Ship Isis, currently second bottom (although champions in 2013, as we never cease to remind people, including a strangely uninterested BBC and Reuters).

My trick is to pretend I have the answer lodged somewhere, when in reality I don’t even understand the question. For example, a question may arise about electron pair geometry.

Now I don’t know if the electron pair is physics, an obscure Scandinavian sport or a type of bendy bus. But saying “hmm” a bit generally disguises my ignorance while I wait in vain for something about

or The Who to crop up. By normal standards, I’m pretty good at quizzes. But I’ll never be top rank. To do that you must be able to rattle off

and Proper quiz shows. Not for them the vulgar fiscal attractions of

and (although that could be less to do with snobbery than an inability to run round the aisles).

So it’s an elitist affair, which sometimes is no bad thing. No one would bother watching

if Paxman starting asking for the capital of France, or who played drums for Duran Duran.

It’s horses for courses. If you’re an especially knowledgeable horse, have a bash at the Sunderland Quiz League.

*Cliftonhill and Ochilview Park: obviously