‘The pain of losing your child is nothing but devastation and heartache every day’
Connor Brown’s mum determined a positive will come from his death
The family of Connor Brown has faced ‘devastation and utter heartbreak’ every day since his life was tragically cut short – but his loved ones remain determined to set up a trust to honour the teenager's memory.
Connor Brown, a popular and loved 18-year-old, tragically died after being stabbed on a night out in Sunderland in February 2019.
His death united the city in grief and the amateur boxer will forever be remembered by all who knew him for his ‘heart of gold’ and ‘infectious’ smile.
Eighteen months on, his grieving mum Tanya Brown says she suffers flashbacks to the first days and weeks after Connor was taken from them.
But despite their heartbreak, his family remain determined to set up a trust in Connor’s name to ensure ‘something positive can come out of the devastating tragedy’.
“These past 18 months have been the hardest we’ve ever had to endure.
"The pain of losing your child, and in circumstances like ours, is nothing but devastation and utter heartache every day,” Tanya told the Echo.
"I suffer flashbacks of those first few days and weeks and 18 months on it certainly has not become any easier for any of us. Some say time heals but for us it is simply a reminder of how long Connor has been gone.
"I have gone through so much turmoil and asked myself what if and why so many times but it doesn’t change anything.
“During the pandemic, and especially the lockdown, we had less contact with everyone which at times was increasingly hard.
"My own one-to-one therapy sessions had to be put on hold but I have since found a local group Sunderland Grieving Parents support group which I’ve found really helps.
“We have had amazing support from everyone – all our family, friends, work colleagues and a lot of Connor’s friends too. They have all helped and supported us in any way they could.
"We have also had so much support from the community and we are truly thankful for all their continued support too.
“Connor is such a miss by everyone and he has a stream of visitors at his graveside.
"It is always full of fresh flowers and little keepsakes left by family and friends and it brings a little comfort knowing that they all visit too.”
Connor’s parents, Tanya and Simon, are in the process of setting up the Connor Brown Trust, which will aim to support young people through sports and physical activities.
Following a postponement due to the coronavirus outbreak, his family are now hoping to officially launch the organisation around what would have been his 21st birthday in March 2021.
Tanya said: “It is important to me to set up the Connor Brown Trust so my son’s life and memory will not be forgotten.
"The impact he had made to so many people’s lives in so many different ways. People who met Connor will always remember him but those who knew Connor will always love him.
"If others remember Connor or hear his story and what happened to him then they themselves might think twice about carrying or using a knife and that is the most important outcome I could hope for.”
Connor, who worked as a receptionist at Happy House Surgery, developed self-discipline and self-confidence through his love and ability for all sports.
It is hoped the trust will be able to offer young people, particularly from disadvantaged backgrounds, the same opportunities to help steer them away from crime by giving them goals to achieve and be proud of.
The trust also hopes to support victims of violent crimes and their families. One of its main objectives will be to raise awareness of knife crime and the devastation it can cause.
Tanya added: “The support ourselves and the family have received from everyone has been amazing and this is why we felt it was the right thing to do in setting up the trust.
"We wanted to give something back to the community; we wanted something positive to come out of the devastating tragedy we all felt losing Connor.
"For me personally I wanted to prevent another young person losing their life and prevent another family suffering the devastation and utter heartache I feel every day.
"To make a difference to just one person means all the hard work will be worth it.”
Despite the best efforts of emergency workers, Connor devastatingly died after he was stabbed multiple times in a back lane near Gatsby.
The Connor Brown Trust logo, designed by Frank Styles, has been painted on the wall of the city centre bar as a lasting reminder of the dangers of knife crime.
Tanya added: “We are currently in the process of having a memorial bench placed at Grangetown cemetery near to Connor’s resting place.
"We hope this will give his visitors some comfort and a place to reflect on happier memories.
"They continue to honour his memory in all things they do and just recently the Golden Fleece football club had the initials CB5 printed on the shirts in Connor’s memory as his number was five when he played for Seaburn FC previously.
"They have had the Connor Brown Trust logo printed onto their away strips too.
"All the little things that are done in his memory mean he is still very much a part of people’s lives. He will forever be in the hearts of his friends is what brings us the most comfort of all.”