Happy to lend a helping hand at the next Academy Awards
After wall to wall coverage of horrific violence in Ukraine how refreshing to relax with some easy TV viewing … like watching preened luvvies rewarding themselves with golden paperweights at the Oscars!
Those sitting back to endure the annual bore-fest of the 94th Academy Awards didn’t bank on Will Smith misreading the invite. “No! Smithy. This is a self-congratulatory BACK-slapping event...”
With waning interests in this TV ceremony, the organisers would probably have loved advanced-warning of the faceslapping to come. The audience for the live show will be nothing compared to the figures for those watching a slap-up catch-up.
However, rather than condemning the incident, Hollywood ought to be negotiating a rematch.
A ceremonial, evening-up re-slap ought to be the very least offered to Mr Rock. Rocky Two - The Revenge, if you will.
Mark my words, producers will already be pitching Celebrity Face-slapping formats to every TV executive going.
Given the gentle-ribbing from Chris Rock which provoked Will Smith, you may be thinking Ricky Gervais dodged a bullet.
Had The Office star been hosting the awards, any venomous barbs directed at Smith’s wife may have resulted in a closed fist response from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
That said, slap-happy Smith may have bitten off more than he could chew had he decided to go toe-to-toe (or palm-topalm) with Ricky.
While he may look like a push-over, Gervais was one of the first to take part in a celebrity boxing match when he took on Anthea Turner’s then-husband Grant Bovey back in 2002 … and won!
In this age of pay-per-view TV, celebrity brawling may well be a box office winner.
And a Sensational Star-studded Slapdown could just be the beginning (followed by a slap up meal, naturally).
I mean, who wouldn’t pay, ahem, hand over fist to see someone like Piers Morgan get a clip across the chops?
In fact, with an evening of Morgan mush-pummeling on offer, the issue wouldn’t be selling enough tickets or stifling anti-violence protests, it’d be marshaling the stampede of people rushing to deliver the slaps…