Ryanair insist on wearing masks, like most highwaymen
No frills flying with Ryanair was an eyeopener … as well as a wallet-drainer. To be fair, the budget airline makes no secret of its determination to keep costs down for the passenger but to charge them for everything above and beyond the basics.
So much so that it was a relief to see the aircraft had its full complement of wings when we boarded. “Oh, you want to fly on a plane with wings? That’ll be 100 Euros extra, thanks.”
We bagged ourselves a bargain flight out of Spain for about 40 Euros. So hats off to the company for doing such a good deal.
But they managed to recoup some of that bargain by clattering us with a check-in fee!
In what turned out to be an error in short pants with a catapult sticking out of its back pocket, we forgot to check-in online. “That’ll be 30 Euros, thanks!”
Other cost-saving exercises from Ryanair appeared to include the onboard safety manual.
Instead of hiring a professional graphic designer, the ‘what to do in the event of crash’ artwork appeared to have been cobbled together by a nursery school art class. I was particularly intrigued by the designs reprinted here, showing what to leave behind on abandoning a stricken aircraft. The high heels were an easy spot. The glasses too were obvious (though I’d have thought being able to see where you’re going would be useful in an emergency). Accompanying the glasses however was what looked like a sandwich. Do you really need to be told to leave your sandwich behind? On closer inspection, I am convinced it’s not a sandwich, but false teeth. So you can take your sandwich when abandoning an airplane, but not the teeth you need to eat it!
The last image of the three had me stumped for about an hour. If you thought Wordle was hard, try deciphering that graphic.
It looks to me like a cartoon duck. Our best guess, though it has yet to be confirmed, is that the final items to be left behind are earrings. I’m sure there’s good safety reasons to leave behind glasses, high heels and earrings though the cynic in me suspects Ryanair would be scooping them up and selling them on eBay.
To their credit, Ryanair operates a strict Covid-busting mask-wearing policy on flights while other airlines go mask-free. However, I reckon they heard the word ‘free’ and said: ‘No way, at Ryanair we don’t do anything for free.’