SCARED OF THE DEAD
I didn’t want to deal with the dead, until I almost joined them.
till
I almost joined them!
Isighed as I tried to explain the difference between a psychic and a medium for what felt like the umpteenth time.
‘A psychic, like me, can offer insights about your life,’ I told my client. ‘Mediums channel the dead. I don’t do that.’
I’d started doing tarot readings for friends as a bit of fun when I was 19 and, from the start, I was pretty good at it. When I read, I seemed to know things without being told them.
My granny on my dad’s side had read a crystal ball and I knew my granddad, the last in a line of Irish travellers, had read cards himself, so I reckoned being psychic was in my blood.
Gradually word had spread about my skills and I’d started seeing paying clients alongside my day job as a secretary for a financial institution.
Trouble was, I’d discovered that lots of people use the words ‘psychic’ and ‘medium’ interchangeably and, once
I mentioned the ‘p’ word they had certain expectations. I’d be offering guidance on someone’s love life, career or a family issue and they’d ask if I had a message from their late nan.
I had no idea how to channel Spirit and, honestly? I didn’t really want to!
It wasn’t that I was scared or creeped out. It was more that passing on messages from loved ones who’d passed over seemed like a huge responsibility and, if I was totally honest, I didn’t really see the point. I was all about the here and now. Surely that was what mattered?
Then one night when I was 23 I was woken by an agonising cramp in one leg. I managed to shake it off before getting up to go to the bathroom.
The next thing I knew I was whizzing head first down a corridor of white light. At the end was a large stone altar like something out of an Arthurian legend. It was surrounded by angels and colours and I was utterly desperate to get there... ‘Penny? Are you OK Penny?’
It was my dad’s voice. I ignored him. I just needed to reach the end of this tunnel of light. It seemed really important. ‘Penny!’
This time I opened my eyes and, just like that, the tunnel was gone. Instead, I found myself looking up into Dad’s worried face.
Turned out I’d passed out on my way to the bathroom and bumped my head on the hall door.
Luckily there was no permanent damage, other than a sore head. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the corridor and the feeling that it had been headed somewhere amazing...
A few weeks later I was doing some laminating in my job as a secretary when I started hearing voices. Lots of voices. I could only catch odd words or phrases. It was like someone was moving the dial of an analogue radio back and forth through lots of stations at speed.
The chatter didn’t stop all day and by the time I headed home I was exhausted.
I knew enough about Spirit to know what was happening straight away. I was opening up as a medium! The timing meant it had to be something to do with my trip through the tunnel of light.
Keen to nip it in the bud, that night I meditated and made it clear I didn’t want to hear Spirit.
To my relief it worked and the voices stopped straight away.
Except, after that things started happening when I did my readings.
I’d be doing someone’s cards and I’d suddenly see an elderly stranger in my mind’s eye.
Sometimes I’d get a random name, an image of certain flowers or a holiday destination coming through.
Eventually I decided to start passing on the information. And, whenever I did, it was clear it meant something special to the person I was reading for.
The flowers would turn out to be the ones they’d carried in their bouquet when marrying their late husband, the holiday would be a treasured memory with long-dead parents.
Seeing the comfort and joy my messages gave, I started to become more comfortable with mediumship and eventually, when my son was born, I gave up being a secretary and became a full-time psychic medium.
More than two decades on, I still find mediumship draining, particularly when I’m shown how someone died or how they felt before they passed.
But now I know how to protect myself and how to filter messages – as well as how worthwhile channelling can be for the client.
I believe my fall all those years ago led me to have a near-death experience, briefly beginning my journey to the beyond, before coming back to this world. That bump on my bonce made me find my calling!
I was all about the here and now