HOW can I get in the mood?

QThings with my partner are wonderful in every department apart from one — I have absolutely no desire to be intimate with him. He has a high sex drive and every week I go through the motions as I don’t want to upset him or cause an issue in our relationship. But I really have to force myself and don’t enjoy it at all. What can I do? I don’t want to end things.

Natasha, 31, Edinburgh

AWhen we drive the same way to work every day, the journey can start to feel mundane. My advice would be for you to take the driver’s seat and find another route. I feel you are always waiting for him to instigate things, and let’s be honest, his driving isn’t always the best at certain times of day. So, take control not only of the driving but also the time you start the journey.

OK, enough euphemisms. It’s time for you to take control of when and how you have sex with each other.

Here is a little ritual to help, called ‘Morning, Noon, or Night’.

All you need is a silver coin. On three days of the week — say Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday — do this ritual.

On the first night before you go to bed, toss the coin. If it lands on heads, kiss him good night on the lips, and the ball is in his court. If it lands on tails, kiss him somewhere else on the body and go with the flow.

On the second day, set your alarm an hour early and do the same again. Then on the last day, do the same at lunchtime.

Do this for two weeks and see what happens.

This will give you the chance to change the route, speed, and time you set off on your sexual journey.