FLASHBACKS

with their daughter over the usual things make-up, the length of her skirts, her staying out too late, her talking back to her teachers and the fact she wasn' t revising enough for her exams a sore point with Eric, since he' d failed miserably at her age.

Hannah!' came one last yelp, then he turned off his phone and shoved it in his pocket.

Does she know what' s going on?'

Yes. She didn' t ask about you, though.'

He' d already told her I' d decided on my own diagnosis, I' d heard him. Sometimes I think he likes to make her sound worse than she is.

You couldn' t fetch me a drink, could you?' I asked. I don' t want to bother a nurse, they' ll be busy. Water will do.'

Yes, of course. How are you feeling?'

Flat. Very¼ flat.'

I hoped he' d smile at my joke. No such luck.

After he' d found me some water and a straw and given me a drink, he slumped into a chair. Time edged past like a snail after that. A snail with a brick tied to its shell.

Then he went looking for a doctor, since everybody seemed to have forgotten we existed.

It' ll be soon,' he said on his return, his smile false and wide. The consultant' s had a few emergencies, that' s all.' Another hour slogged by. I started to ask Eric the time every 10 minutes. The nursery where Amy stayed only usually kept her until five-thirty. They closed at six.

The crash and its aftermath, getting to the hospital, all the tests and all the waiting had eaten right through the day.

Eric, maybe you ought to go. The traffic will be bad if you leave it too long. It' ll take you an hour to get back to pick Amy up even if the roads are clear.'

I can' t leave you here on your own. Your doctor hasn' t even said you' re OK yet.' He leant over me, pale-lipped.

I' ll call the nursery and tell them that I might be late. Then I' ll go and look for a doctor again.'

He disappeared from my limited view, his trainers squeaking down the corridor. When he came back, he was on his phone again.

No!' he sounded angry.

No, Hannah. No, you can' t do that. All right?'

What' s happening?' I hissed at the blob he turned into in my peripheral vision.

I called her again and mentioned Amy. She says she can go and pick her up with some boy.'

What boy?'

Jack¼ no Sam¼ or was it

Noah. I' ve forgotten his name now.'

Noah who?'

Eric grunted.

I haven' t a clue, but she did mention he' s 18 and has a car. She skipped school to see him, I bet. That bodes well, doesn' t it?'

I winced.

I' m sure you' ll think of a fabulous punishment for skipping school, but first you need to let her help us out.' No.'

Had he forgotten his parents and my mum lived miles away? My sister had gone away and his ex worked until six so they were no good. Did he want to work through our friends next?

The nursery will take care of Amy whatever happens.'

I was going to say something about how he needed to trust Hannah, but then a doctor interrupted my train of thought.

Jayne Clark?'

The consultant had arrived at last. He drew the curtains around my bed as if that' d stop anybody listening in.

Your scans are all clear. There' s no spinal injuries and no internal damage. You' re bruised and a bit battered but you' re fine.'

Honestly, I had worked that out by now. He added a little more info. I' d have to wear a neck brace for a few days. I might need painkillers. If I felt dizzy, sick or developed a headache I' d have to come back, but I could go home once they' d sorted out a brace, some tablets and dressed the cut on my head.

Sweaty palms and a racing heartbeat I had a few extra symptoms already. I put them down to excitement as I was unstrapped.

The first thing I saw when I sat up was a clock.

Eric, tell Hannah to pick up Amy. Stop treating it like such a big deal.'

Thank you,' I added to the doctor. Is there a toilet anywhere nearby, I really, really need the loo.'

Discharged and on our way home at long last, on the motorway I chewed at my lip and clung on to my seat belt for dear life.

Eric gave me a worried glance. You look terrified.'

The muscles in my neck ached. My sinuses throbbed from lying so flat for so long,

ÔIÕ m sure youÕ ll think of a fabulous punishment for skipping school, but first you need to let her help usÕ

my ribs and chest were covered in bruises. I expected all of that. The thing I hadn' t expected was the fact that, every time a car whizzed by, my body insisted disaster was imminent. It kept telling me so in starts and jolts.

I think I' m having flashbacks.'

I took a deep breath and, to take my mind off it, I added: You need to sort things out between you and Hannah, you know.'

Eric huffed. Like the reason she didn' t tell me about this boy of hers? He' s 18. You know what I was doing at 18?'

Yes, you were freshly married and having a baby.

She' s supposed to be revising for her exams,' he ranted on. She doesn' t need a boyfriend, especially an older one who tells her to cut classes.'

Another car zoomed past. It drifted far too close. I frowned as my heartbeat sped along with it, then I peered at Eric in a whole new way. My pre-loved, second-hand man.

Was this what his life was like flashback after flashback, silent warning after silent warning?

I remembered how wary he' d been of Amy in the maternity ward. Did he have a flashback then, too, remembering how much he adored Hannah when she' d first entered his life?

Did he then imagine Amy turning out to be another stroppy teenager, all snappy remarks, curled lips and banging doors?

There was one more thing bothering me. He never mentioned us getting married. Did he have flashbacks about his life with Beth, too. Bad ones that took his breath away?

I shrugged down as another car shot past.

Just don't look at them, warned myself.

Don' t yell at Hannah when we get home,' I said. She' s not such a bad girl really.

She' s just acting like a teenager.'

He shook his head.

I still need to think of a punishment. She' s not getting away with this just because she picked up Amy for us.'

OK, you think on.'

Another car shot past and I gave a jolt.

Flashbacks,' I muttered. They really are terrifying.'

WIe turned on to our drive at the end of our journey.

Eric seemed set to barrel into the house so I let out a few ouches.

Help me will you.' He had to slow down then, heave in a few breaths and take care of me. He held my elbow as I eased my way out of my seat, then shuffled down the drive.

Inside the house, he still charged from the kitchen to the lounge, from the lounge to the dining room as if hunting down burglars. Where are they?'

He looked upstairs, then his cheeks turned ruddy.

Hannah?' Up he thundered. I followed in his wake more sedately in my fetching neck brace, my aching ribs yelling every step I climbed.

I found him on the landing outside the bathroom.

The door was wide open. Hannah and her boyfriend

who' s 18 in case you' ve missed that part were in the middle of giggling their way through giving Amy a bath complete with a stream of bubbles that long-haired, tattooed Noah blew from a plastic wand.

We couldn' t have walked into a more blissful domestic scene if we' d tried.

Eric' s hands curled into fists. I assumed he was remembering himself at that boy' s age, young and foolish and thinking life as a teenage parent would be bliss.

I think I finally understood how Eric saw the world. The thing he hated most these days had nothing to do with Hannah. His problem was he' d decided he hadn' t managed to pass on a single thing he' d learnt.

He talked and talked, but never felt a single word had reached his daughter. He thought he' d failed her.

Hannah leant over the bath, supporting little Amy. She' s a pretty girl, smart too.

So, Hannah, your punishment for skipping school¼' I said as a flash of inspiration struck.

Everybody was looking at me now, the very injured party in all this.

Apart from seeing your headmistress of course and explaining it all to her. Your punishment is¼ babysitting. Yes, as soon as your exams are over, lots and lots of it when you start the sixth form.

I can see it now nappies, potty training and gooey food. Never being able to do what you want. It will be a brilliant life lesson in responsibility and what kids are really like. Work, work, work, in-between screaming and dirty bottoms.

I grinned at Noah, if that was even his name.

You' ll breeze though it all. I bet.'

For a second, Eric stood deep in thought.

Yes. Great idea,' he said finally. You are good with Amy, Hannah, and we could use a break and¼'

I suspect he paused because galloping in like a stampede of horses was a list of reasons why this was also a terrible idea what if she loses our baby or God forbid has an accident.

He ought to have worked out, after the day we' d had, that accidents happen to everybody. It might do him good too to learn he couldn' t save either of his daughters from everything he' d ever faced in life.

Hannah grinned, clearly imagining herself and her new crush having fun pretending to be grown-ups. OK. Thanks, Jayne.' Thanks? Really? You have no idea what I' ve just done to you. You can' t live every day of your dad' s past, Hannah, but we might be able to make it much more of a reality for you.

I' m going for a sit down,' I said. Come on, Eric.' I tugged at his sleeve. Let them finish bathing Amy. They know what they' re doing. They can put her to bed then if she' s in the mood for sleeping. Likely not. You know what she' s like this time of night, Extra, extra crabby.'

Eric winked at me. He chuckled all the way down the stairs. I wondered if one day it meant he' d pass on all the things he needed to get past his traumatic flashbacks, and we' d end up getting married.

Please don' t say, don' t hold your breath' not with my sore ribs. I need a cuppa and a sit-down again now. It' s been a very, very long day.