No more Mrs Judgemental

Ellie thought she knew best, but she soon found out she was wrong¼

Miranda staggered into the office under the weight of about a hundred bags.

The sales are amazing,' she said as she dumped them next to her desk. I got loads of stuff.'

You' re late,' Ellie said. I' ve been answering your phone as well as my own.'

`And a happy new year to you too,' Miranda sniffed.

I' ve got this amazing outfit for the Christmas party next week, although why they' re calling it a Christmas party I don' t know.'

I couldn' t book anywhere up before Christmas,' Tony said. It' s not easy doing it at the last minute.'

Miranda was meant to book the party, but she forgot, and when she was asked she said it was all in hand, so it all had to be done at the last minute. So now they were sharing an evening with a shop-fitting company, a shoe manufacturers and a landscape gardening outfit.

Before Miranda started working at the insurance brokers, they never bothered going to a party. They used to have a slap-up meal at the Star of India with their partners for their Christmas do, but Miranda said it was boring and so Tony fell into line.

Miranda slumped in her chair. I couldn' t wait. All the good stuff will have gone by next week.'

She delved into one of her bags and pulled out a small scrap of cream material.

I' m just going to the loo,' she said.

Honestly,' Ellie huffed as Miranda' s phone rang. Are you going to let her get away with this, Tony?'

As bosses went, Tony was a good one, but he wasn' t assertive enough when it came to Miranda. He shrugged.

You' ve got to put your foot down!'

When Miranda came back she was wearing a short, tight cream dress that clung to every bit of her.

How do I look?' she asked. Honestly?' Ellie said. You look like a bag of onions.'

Trust you to spoil it,' Miranda said. This was reduced from 200 quid to just 10!'

I can see why,' Ellie said. Miranda stomped back to the loo.

That was harsh,' Tony said. She didn' t look that bad.'

She looked terrible!' Ellie said. The dress is about two sizes too small. She never looks beyond the price reduction. If she wears that to the party, it' ll fall apart the minute she starts dancing.' Help!'

I' ll go,' Ellie said, picking up her scissors as she got up from her desk. No doubt she' s got herself stuck again.'

`` I think you'' re going to

have to cut me out of it,'' Miranda wailed when Ellie knocked on the toilet door. I' m stuck.'

She was stuck all right. The dress was half off, pinning one arm against her side and the other over her head.

Why do you do it?' Ellie said as she started snipping the seam. You should make a resolution to stop buying stuff in sales without trying it on.'

They weren' t letting anyone try stuff on,' Miranda said, her bottom lip quivering. It was a free for all. You just grabbed what you could and paid for it.'

Then shop somewhere else and get clothes that fit. With the amount of things you' ve had to throw out after I' ve cut you out of them, you could have spent hundreds on something that actually fitted you.'

Well, it must be just wonderful to be you,'

Miranda huffed. Mrs Judgy. I bet you never made a mistake in your life.''

So are you going to make a resolution?' Ellie handed her the ruined dress.

All right. No more clothes shopping without trying stuff on,' Miranda said. `And you' ve got to resolve not to be so judgemental!'

Truthful, you mean?'

That' s not what I call it. Didn' t you used to like wearing sexy stuff when you were young?'

I' m 37!' Ellie cried.

Exactly.'

Back in the office, Tony was trying to answer all the phones at once. He looked relieved when he saw them.

We' re just going to take a little break,' Ellie said. We might pop over to the coffee

I was making a point. You've got to be more assertive, Tony. That can be your resolution

shop.' Oh, OK,'' he said.

Don' t be too long will you.'

I was making a point,' Ellie said.

You might as well write Welcome across your forehead and lie down in front of the door! You' ve got to be more assertive, Tony. That can be your resolution.'

Miranda told him theirs and he nodded and picked up the phone.

Denny Trotter Insurance Brokers,'' he said, then he held the phone out to Miranda. It' s your mum. She said she couldn' t get you on your mobile and wondered if you' ve got time for a chat.'

Start as you mean to go on,' Ellie said, and Tony gulped.

I' m sorry, Mrs Turnbull. Miranda is busy just now. Perhaps you could call her this evening.'

He hung up, looking pleased with himself and slightly alarmed.

What did you do that for?' Miranda cried.

Because he' s the boss and you have work to do,' Ellie said.

This was great. For once, Miranda started pulling her weight and actually got some work done, but to be fair, she usually worked hard anyway, even if she was a bit tardy with her timekeeping. It was going to be easy for Ellie. She never judged people, but merely offered constructive criticism.

Can I leave a bit early today?'' Miranda asked. `I need to go shopping for something to wear to the party.''

No. We need you here,'' Tony said, and again he looked pleased with himself. This is your fault,'' Miranda hissed at Ellie. You should be pleased. You' ll save money if you stop buying rubbish.'' I thought you weren' t going to judge?''

At the end of the day, as they got ready to lock up, Tony said:

I' m not going straight home. I' m going for a drink first.'

Your mum won' t like that,' Ellie said. You know she always has your dinner on.'

Mrs Judgy,' Miranda muttered.

Well, I' ve resolved to be more assertive,' Tony said. And I don' t see why it shouldn' t apply to my home life too.'

And I' m going shopping at Bernice' s Bargains,' Miranda said. It' s late-night opening, and yes, I will try things on, Ellie. And don' t forget, you' re not to be judgemental.'

Easy,' Ellie said.

She wasn' t the one with a problem!

When she got home it was to find Sean sprawled out on the sofa watching telly.

He' d peeled spuds, but he' d splattered everywhere with starchy potato water.

You could have rinsed off the draining board,' she said.

You' re not supposed to be judgemental, remember?' he said. Miranda called me to let me know about your resolution.'

I' m not judging you,' Ellie said. I just think you should clear up after yourself.'

She went upstairs and looked in at her teenage son.

This room is a mess,' she said. You haven' t made your bed.'

Don' t judge,' he said. You don' t know how busy I' ve been all day.'

She' d kill flipping Miranda! Her daughter emerged from her bedroom, face smothered in make-up and a skirt up to her armpits.

You' re not going out like that,' Ellie said.

Why not?'

Because, because¼'

Judgy,' she said.

I' m not,' Ellie said, then she saw the clothes all over Rachel' s bed.

Aren' t you going to put all that away?'

I' ll do it

Im m sorry, Mrs Turnbull. Miranda is busy just now. Perhaps you could call her this evening

later, Mum. I' ll be late for the party.'

Back downstairs, she found Sean brushing oil on the steaks before putting them under the grill.

What are you doing that for? You' ll make the meat all greasy. And you haven' t got the potatoes on yet. The steak will be tough as old boots by the time everything else is done.'

May I remind you of your resolution,' Sean said with a smirk. If you keep it, it' ll be the first time ever.'

He was right. She' d never been able to keep her past resolutions.

She left him to it and when he dished up, she had to admit everything tasted fine. At least he made the effort to cook, not like some men who expected to be waited on hand and foot.

And Charlie' s bedroom might be messy, but at least he didn' t go out making a nuisance of himself like some kids. Not that all kids were like that, she told herself, trying not to be judgemental.

As for Rachel, she looked really pretty and that scared Ellie, but she had to trust her and not judge.

At the weekend, when their families came round for dinner, Ellie bit her tongue when she saw her mother-inlaw wearing her ancient fox fur. It was hideous and stank, but she' d found it at a car-boot sale and was over the moon with it.

Her father-in-law brought his pipe along, but didn' t light it, knowing Ellie didn' t care for smoke in her house. Instead, he kept sucking on it and making revolting noises. It took a lot for her not to tell him to stop!

Her dad arrived wearing shorts and it was all she could do not to tell him to go home and put some trousers on. He saw it as some sort of badge of honour to wear shorts even in the coldest weather.

And her mum had a new hair cut and it didn' t suit her one bit.

It' s how I' ve always wanted it,' she said proudly. It looks lovely,' Ellie said. It might have looked lovely 30 years ago, but who was she to judge? If it made her mum feel good about herself, what did it matter?

Ellie started to realise that she was the problem at work, and on Monday, she asked Tony how being assertive was coming along.

Not great,' he said. Mum had made me a special dinner when I went to the pub, and when I got home, it had dried up. All that effort wasted, just because I wanted to assert myself. I didn' t enjoy going to the pub either. It was crowded and the beer was warm. I don' t like being assertive. I like being easy-going Tony who everyone likes.'

Miranda was subdued when she came in.

I' ll never get anything to wear for the party. None of that stuff I bought last week fitted me and I couldn' t get anything in Bernice' s Bargains.'

A lot of the time the stuff in the sales seems to be the wrong sizing,' Ellie said, and Miranda growled at her. I' m just saying it' s not your fault, Miranda. Why don' t I come with you at lunchtime and help you find something?'

So you can turn your nose up?'

I won' t. And we' ll be back on time, Tony, I promise.'

Ellie enjoyed shopping with Miranda. It was fun and she didn' t judge. She even found herself being tempted to bag a bargain or two for herself.

Miranda chose a very revealing sapphire-blue dress, but it was the correct size and she did look gorgeous in it.

Go on, say it,' Miranda said.

I think it' s perfect,' Ellie said. You' re going to knock them dead at the party. All the people from the other companies will be asking who the glamour girl is.'

All right, don' t go overboard,' Miranda said, but she was smiling.

They got back to the office with five minutes to spare.

I think you two should forget your resolutions,' Ellie said.

Why, so you can go back to being judgy?' Miranda said.

No. I' m going to stick to mine. I think you two are perfect as you are.'

She went to hang her coat up and heard Miranda gasp. Did you hear that?'

She smiled to herself. Things at home had been a lot more peaceful since she' d stopped being judgemental and things at work were going to get better too.

She was going to stop judging Tony for not being assertive and stop judging Miranda for being, well, young and impulsive.

And that was one resolution she was going to keep!

Charlie's room might be messy, but he didn't go out making a nuisance of himself like some kids