Without Tom

Alice wasn' t sure how she' d cope with Christmas alone this year¼

For as long as I can remember, you've come to me for Christmas dinner. This feels all wrong

Alice shivered as she stepped out of her son-in-law' s car. Dean put his arm round her. `Are you all right, Mum?'

Not really, sweetheart. For as long as I can remember, you' ve come to me for Christmas dinner. This feels all wrong.'

Inside the house, the brightly decorated front room shouted Christmas.

Red, pink and blue paper chains crisscrossed the ceiling, and a giant fibreoptic tree filled the bay window, its rainbow-coloured branches twinkling.

It was lovely, but part of Alice wished she hadn' t agreed to come. She would rather have skipped Christmas dinner altogether, but her family wouldn' t hear of it.

The smell of roasting turkey wafted from the kitchen. It smelt delicious, but she didn' t feel the tiniest bit hungry.

Tom was the one who enjoyed a traditional Christmas dinner.

She took a long deep breath. The day wouldn' t be the same without her beloved Tom, but it was important to try to make an effort. Jackie and Dean were missing him too.

She followed Dean into the kitchen, where her daughter looked as if she was trying to do at least three things at the same time.

Hi, Mum,' Jackie wiped her hands on her apron and gave Alice a hug. I' m so glad you decided to come.'

Me too,' fibbed Alice. She forced on a smile. What can I do to help?'

You can do the sprouts,' suggested Dean as he filled the kettle with water. I can' t stand the smelly things.'

Me neither!' Jackie pulled a face. They smell horrible and they taste even worse. Bitter like eating mushy metal.'

Alice had to laugh. Then why did you bother buying any?'

Because we always have them when we come to you.'

When Dean cast a quick look at his wife, Alice swallowed the lump in her throat.

She only bought sprouts because her husband liked them so much, but this year he wasn' t there to eat them.

Maybe we can squeeze a few down. Tom would like

that,' she said, with a brightness she didn' t feel.

We wish he was here too, you know,' said Jackie, as if reading her mind.

Alice nodded. I know. It' s so much harder than I' d imagined.'

She forced a smile. She didn' t need to stay very long. The moment the meal was over, she' d be leaving. ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

While the turkey was cooking, Dean took charge of the presents, taking them from beneath the tree and passing them round.

Tom should be doing this, thought Alice as her mind drifted back through the decades.

When Jackie was small,

Tom had insisted on wearing a Santa suit on Christmas Day, even though it was hot and uncomfortable and the false beard tickled like crazy.

How had the years flown past so quickly? Now Jackie was married, and it wouldn' t be long before she had children of her own.

Are you all right, Mum?' Jackie asked. Only, you haven' t opened any of your presents.'

Sorry,' Alice picked up one of the brightly wrapped parcels and ripped off the wrapping. Thanks, love,' she said, as she held out a knitted shawl. It' s really lovely.' It was too.

In the end, dinner was an hour later than planned because the turkey stubbornly refused to cook.

At least that feels familiar, thought Alice.

If Tom was there, he would have teased them about it, saying that Christmas dinner was like the local train service it never arrived on time.

When the food was finally ready, they sat down to eat.

Dean battled to carve the turkey, hacking away great lumps of meat. Alice only just managed to stop herself saying that Tom would have done it much better.

It was hard, but she made herself eat some of her food, even managing to force down a couple of the dreaded Brussels sprouts. She could never understand why Tom liked them so much.

As far as she was concerned, they were ghastly. They either came out soft and mushy or a bit too hard. And the taste yuk! Jackie and Dean did their best to keep the conversation flowing, but it was clear that they were missing Tom too, almost as much as she was.

After the remains of the dinner were cleared away, Dean carried the Christmas pudding through from the kitchen.

Ta-da!' he said.

Again Alice had to stop herself from saying that if Tom had been there, he would have set it alight, probably managing to singe the tablecloth or start a small fire in the kitchen.

The second the meal was over, she stood up and started to clear the table, eager to be on her way.

While she was loading the dishwasher, Dean told her she could stay the night if she wanted to.

You' re more than welcome.'

I know, and thanks again, but I' d rather not if that' s

OK.'

He nodded. Don' t forget, if you change your mind, all you have to do is pick up the phone. I can be there in less than 15 minutes.'

Alice thanked him. You' re a great son-in-law. My Jackie' s lucky to have you. Now where did she put my coat?'

It had been nice of them to invite her round for Christmas dinner, but now it was over, she couldn' t wait to leave. ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

There was hardly any traffic, and the lights were all on green, but it was still difficult to find somewhere to park.

In the end, Dean dropped

Alice off outside and went to look for a space down one of the side streets.

Alice ran inside. When she found Tom sitting up in bed, a half-eaten tray of food on the cabinet beside him, her heart overflowed with love.

Jackie and Dean will be here soon,' she said. They' re trying to find somewhere to park the car.'

For a few seconds she stood there, drinking in the sight of him.

After the heart attack, he' d looked so grey and pale, she felt sure she was going to lose him. For the past week, she' d spent every day at the hospital, not wanting to leave his side for a moment.

How are you feeling?' she asked gently.

Much better, thanks.' He prodded the remains of his meal with a fork. Shame the food' s not up to much. Can you believe it, Christmas Day, and no Brussels sprouts?'

Alice felt a weight fly from her shoulders. The sparkle had come back into Tom' s eyes and there was some colour in his cheeks.

If he was well enough to be moaning about the food, the doctors must be right he really was on the mend.

As if on cue, a nurse appeared. We have good news. The doctor will be seeing you later on his rounds. Providing he' s happy with your progress, you' ll be going home tomorrow.'

Alice was so delighted, she squealed and clapped her hands. Her darling husband was coming home.

It was going to be a happy New Year after all.

She forced down a couple of the dreaded sprouts. She could never understand why Tom liked them