Driving me crazy

Ricky hadn' t made me give up my family and friends. Not exactly. When we' d first got together, he' d been sweetness and light with my circle, but once we married, following a whirlwind romance, he found lots of little ways to keep me apart from my mum, my sister and my girlfriends.

I just feel so left out, Keeley,' he' d say. I moved hundreds of miles to be with you and left everyone I knew behind. When you see your girls, it just reminds me that I have no one, except you. It makes me lonely.'

So I took to staying at home with Ricky more and more, which wasn' t all bad, as he cooked for me, ran me scented baths and massaged my shoulders after stressful days at work.

You' re incredibly tense,' he said one night, as he kneaded my muscles. I worry about you working so hard at the office. Maybe you should hand in your notice

find something you could do from home, part time.'

I don' t think so,' I replied. I shouldn' t moan about work so much I like it really. And I like the people I work with.'

But think of the harm you' re doing to your health,' Ricky argued. You don' t want to end up ill.'

At first, I dismissed the idea, but then Ricky started talking about us having children, and doing up our house beforehand, so we' d all be comfortable with no niggling jobs waiting to be done.

If you gave up work, you could treat the whole place to a makeover, turn the spare room into a nursery, and build up a few months of tip-top health before starting to try for a baby.'

When he put it like that, it did sound tempting.

The office crowd were shocked to see me leave, but wished me all the best with our plans to embark on family life.

If it' s what you really want, love,' Mum said, though she didn' t sound convinced.

I still think you should try and work a bit, Keeley,' my sister Marie commented. It' s not good to give up all your independence.'

But we' re married, Marie,' I reminded her. We' re a couple. I don' t need to be independent from Ricky.'

Before I even had a chance to start choosing from paint and wallpaper samples, Ricky made another suggestion.

Keeley, I' ve been thinking. We live right beside a main road, and the lorries passing by make the windows rattle.

Wouldn' t it be better to bring up our children somewhere cleaner, nicer?'

What sort of thing do you have in mind?' I asked, uncertainly.

Nothing to be frightened of just somewhere a bit more rural. Somewhere with open space and less traffic, where the kids could get plenty of fresh air.'

Wouldn' t we be a bit isolated?'

We have the car, so we could get out and about quite easily. And think of how much better a start in life it would be for the children playing outside, carefree we could get them a dog, and a couple of cats. We could keep chickens and have our own eggs!'

I had to admit that Ricky painted a rosy picture. And it was endearing, hearing him describe the lifestyle he wanted for us all. How could I not be enthused?

You concentrate on your healthy diet, exercise and plenty of rest, and leave the house-hunting to me,' Ricky said.

I would have preferred to browse through the property websites together, but I sensed Ricky wanted to be the one to present me with something special he' d found, and I didn' t like to disappoint him. So I focused on my smoothies, yoga and early nights.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

Ricky made me promise to close my eyes, as we turned

up the bumpy lane. Several twists and turns later, I felt our car pull up and heard the engine die.

No peeping!' Ricky reminded me, as he placed a blindfold over my closed eyes.

He got out, opened my door, then guided me out.

OK. Now you can open them,' he said, as he removed the blindfold.

When I looked, I was facing a grey, one-storey cottage. It struck me as dark and gloomy, but when I turned to Ricky, he was beaming with

No peeping! Õ Ricky reminded me , as he placed a blindfold over my closed eyes. T hen he guided me out

happiness. So, what do you think? Pretty special, huh?'

My eyes took in the estate agent' s board, planted in the grass around the front door. A Sold sign was plastered across it. It seemed we were here to stay.

Having bought the cottage for a lot less than we' d made from the sale of our home in town, we decided to bank most of the profit.

That is, Ricky decided. I thought we were going to spend the difference on making the cottage comfortable,' I pointed out. It could do with new windows and doors, and we should get the roof checked for leaks, not to mention the whole place needing a coat of paint, new flooring and curtains.'

But that' s the beauty of a rural dwelling like this,' Ricky argued. No one expects it to be spick and span it' s muddy wellies and damp pets on the agenda, not magazine-style interiors.'

I decided not to argue, but I did have another thought.

If we' re not spending the money on renovating the cottage, then we can use some of it to buy a little car for me it doesn' t have to be expensive, just a runaround.'

Ricky wrapped me in a tight hug.

Out of the question,' he replied. If you' re going to be carrying precious cargo in your tummy, and then in a child-seat, there' s no way I' m letting you drive some cheap vehicle with a flimsy exterior. When we can afford something like a Volvo, or a Land Rover, then we' ll buy you your car.'

But until then, I' m going to be stranded way out here all the time, when you' re at work,' I said.

Ricky looked sad. Don' t say it like that,' he pleaded. Think of the walks you can take, the bread you can bake, the slow-cooking stews you can rustle up. It' ll be idyllic.'

Let' s at least get me the dog you talked about, for company.'

Ricky shook his head. I' ve

One afternoon, I spotted another walker up ahead. She was accompanied by a playful terrier

looked into that, and it' s better to have our baby first, and then add the dog to the scenario later if the dog' s here first, there' s a greater risk of it being jealous when the baby arrives, and that could turn nasty.'

What he said made sense, and he made no objections to my suggestion that we at least get a cat.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

I tried to fall in love with the cottage, the way Ricky had. But it was impossible. Once he left for work in the morning and the sound of the car bumping down the lane died away, I felt empty.

Neither Mum nor Marie had transport, and the cottage wasn' t on any bus routes, so the only way they could visit was if Ricky collected them and brought them out, which he wasn' t exactly enthusiastic about doing.

I know they' re your family, but I can' t help feeling they' re looking down their noses at the cottage,' Ricky said.

They' re not they just worry that it' s a bit remote for me, when you' re away,' I explained.

Ricky promised to make time to organise another visit soon, but he always seemed to have extra work on when I thought there might be an opportunity.

Anyhow, your mum brought you up to be a strong, independent woman,' Ricky added. You' re not a little girl who needs her mummy any more you' re an adult.'

I supposed he was right, and with the amount he was working, I imagined it wouldn' t be long before we could buy that big, safe car for me.

Iwas trying to improve my perspective by getting out and enjoying long walks over the fields when something unexpected and wonderful happened.

One afternoon, as I was stomping along, I spotted another walker up ahead. She was accompanied by a playful terrier, who was having great fun snuffling about in the hedgerow.

The little dog turned and spotted me and came bounding over, placing two damp paws on my jeans.

Henry!' the woman shouted. Get down!'

She waved at me. I' m so

sorry. He only wants to be your friend, but I'm afraid he goes about introducing himself the wrong way.

You' re not frightened of dogs?'

No,' I assured her. He' s lovely. I' m Keeley I live at Ivy Cottage.'

Pleased to meet you, Keeley. How are you settling in? I imagine there' s a lot of work to do.'

Her name was Fran and, before I knew it, I was telling her my life story, including all my misgivings about moving to the country and how much I missed my family and friends.

Well, if it' s any use, I' ll be your new friend,' Fran said. It sounds like you need someone to talk to, and I'm a good listener.'

I hope I haven' t given you the wrong impression of Ricky,' I added, as an afterthought. I mean, the way I' ve told it, he could sound like a complete monster, but he only does the things he does because he loves me.'

Fran looked at me steadily. Oh, I don' t think I' ve formed the wrong impression of Ricky at all.'

For some reason, I didn' t tell Ricky about Fran. It wasn' t that I was trying to keep her secret exactly, but I just didn' t think he would be keen.

I enjoyed our chats so much it was wonderful having someone to talk to

and I was soon looking forward to our meet-ups. Sometimes we walked with Henry and sometimes we sat in Fran' s conservatory or at the kitchen table in Ivy Cottage, while Henry dozed and my new little cat, Millie, washed herself on the windowsill.

When Fran came to my place, I always made sure to rinse and put away her mug before Ricky came home. I told myself I was just being tidy.

It was around that time that strange things started happening. Things that unsettled me, and made me anxious.

I thought I saw a man in our backyard one day, and wished I wasn' t so alone. But he quickly disappeared ÐÐ if he' d ever been there at all.

Sometimes, when I was on my own in the cottage, I' d think I heard someone coming in through the front door. By the time I summoned up the courage to look, there was no sign of anyone.

Then the noises in the attic began. Not like vermin more like someone was up there.

When I told Ricky, he checked the locks on the doors and examined the attic.

There' s absolutely nothing to worry about,' he promised me. Nothing real, anyway. But if you' re feeling anxious, let' s get you a prescription from the doctor to soothe your nerves.'

Ricky generously came with me to the doctor' s appointment and insisted she give me something to calm me down.

I started taking the tablets, but I didn' t feel any better.

Every day now, I was hearing strange noises and seeing fleeting visions from the corner of my eye. And then little Millie disappeared. I was bereft.

I don' t know what' s wrong with me,' I sobbed to Fran.

Perhaps it' s just the move to the countryside,' she suggested. In town, you' re surrounded by noise and busyness out in the sticks, you hear every little thing.

I' m sure your prescription will just take time to work, and then you' ll start to improve. Meanwhile, I' ll keep an eye out for Millie

she' s probably just being fed somewhere else. You know what cats are like, they' ll follow their stomachs every time. No loyalty. We' ll find her.'

Ricky said we should put our baby plans on hold until I was well, and off my medication, which made sense, even though I yearned for a little bundle to share my lonely life with.

The following week, Fran got a new job at the nearby animal sanctuary. I was pleased for her because I knew she' d enjoy the work, but sad that it meant I' d see less of her.

You could still come round in the evenings for a natter,' she suggested.

But I knew that Ricky liked me to be at home when he wasn' t at work.

I tried to battle on, taking my tablets faithfully, but still I was spooked on a daily, and sometimes hourly, basis.

One evening, Ricky arrived home from work to find me stumbling about the yard in the wind and rain, wearing only a

T-shirt and jeans, shouting: Who are you? Come out and show yourself! Are you trying to drive me crazy?'

I was so sure I' d seen someone, but nobody was there.

Come on, Keeley,' Ricky pleaded. Come inside. We' re getting soaked out here. I' ll make us a cup of tea.'

For once, I struggled with him.

I don' t want a cup of tea! I don' t want warm words. I want whoever is doing this to stop!'

Ricky steered me towards the cottage.

Calm down. You' ll make yourself ill. Of course, I know a hot drink can' t fix you, but I' m trying to comfort you and you' re pushing me away.'

Suddenly, I felt weary. Why did everything always end up being

Ricky found me stumbling around, shouting: Who are you? Come out and show yourself! Õ

about Ricky? I was the one suffering, here.

The easiest thing was just to sit down in the cottage' s little parlour and let him take care of me.

Ishivered on the sofa, even though Ricky had wrapped a blanket round me, while he got a fire going in the grate.

I' ll warm us some soup,' he said.

As I sat, my spirits sank even lower. How could I think of becoming a mum? I couldn' t cope with my own life, never mind be responsible for someone else' s. And I was a total drain on Ricky failing to share his enthusiasm for the cottage, carping about not having my own car. He worked so hard, and I contributed so little. I was a burden.

Chicken noodle soup,' he announced in a cheery voice, as he carried through a tray and set it on my lap. I want you to eat every bit.'

I wasn' t hungry, yet I wanted to please my husband especially after giving him such a fright in the wild weather outside.

This tastes a bit strange,' I said, as I sipped the first spoonful.

Ricky sighed. Well, I' m very sorry that it' s not home-made and only out of a packet, but I' m afraid it' s the best I can do at short notice.'

I could' ve bitten my tongue everything I said seemed designed to hurt him. I resolved to swallow the rest without comment.

Even before I had finished, I started to feel woozy.

Everything all right?' Ricky enquired.

I' m not sure,' I said. bit strange.'

Why don' t you lie down on the sofa?' Ricky suggested. You do look sleepy.'

I did as I was told, and lay down, but my heart was thumping. Something was wrong I knew it.

Half awake and half asleep, I became aware of Ricky moving about the room. I saw him set a glass of water by the sofa and pull two blister packs from a box of medication. I recognised that medication box it was for my tablets. And the two blister packs were empty.

Suddenly, it became clear to

It' s a me why the soup had tasted so odd and why I was lying here, unable to speak, almost unable to move. Ricky had drugged me and was making it look like I' d taken an overdose!

Just then, I saw him gently slide the blanket off me and hold the bottom corner of it to the fire.

No! He had even worse in store it was supposed to look like I' d overdosed on my tablets, then accidentally set fire to the cottage and myself.

Summoning all my remaining strength, I tried to move, but it was useless. I saw the tail of the blanket start to smoulder and I knew it was too late.

Ricky was going to murder me and get away with it.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Was it possible, even now, that I could be rescued?

Ricky looked confused. In such a remote location and without any family or friends, he hadn' t expected to be interrupted.

I tried to shout for help, but only a strange, animal noise came out.

It' s OK, Keeley we' re here and we' re coming in!' Fran. And she had company. When Fran' s colleague from the animal sanctuary shouldered the door, it came crashing in.

What have you done to her?' Fran demanded.

Nothing! I' ve done nothing!' Ricky protested.

The man with Fran grabbed the blanket from the fire and stamped on it, putting out the flames.

Fran grabbed the poker from the hearth and warned Ricky she' d use it if he tried to flee.

Jamie, ring for an ambulance and the police,' she instructed her colleague.

You' ve got this all wrong,' Ricky spluttered.

But they hadn' t.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

Fran, who usually worked with the canine residents of the animal sanctuary due to her love of dogs, had been asked to do a shift in the cats' wing.

That was where she had spotted Millie, and learnt that a man had brought her in, claiming his wife had discovered she was allergic to their pet and had reluctantly decided to give her up.

Fran' s suspicions were aroused immediately, knowing how much I had loved little Millie and fretted when she' d gone missing.

Bearing in mind the things I' d told her about how Ricky had persuaded me to leave work and my family and engineered our move to the remote cottage, her concern grew, and she decided to make an unscheduled visit, and to bring a strapping friend.

It turned out that Ricky had not been going to work for hours each day, but parking the car out of sight and returning to the cottage to find every possible way to spook me without being caught, and even denying me the companionship of little Millie.

Ensuring I start taking medication for my anxiety, he hoped to edge me into voluntarily overdosing. When I didn' t, he crushed up my tablets and laced my soup. And all in expectation of a nice windfall when the cottage' s mortgage was automatically paid off, plus keeping the profits from our town house sale for himself.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆◆

We can never thank you enough,' Mum told Fran, as the two of them sat by my hospital bed.

I' m just glad we got there in time,' Fran said.

I decided to go back and stay with Mum and Marie for a while, taking little Millie with me, before making any plans for the future.

But I' ve promised I' ll text or ring Fran every day friends are so important, and I' m never going to lose another one again.

I did as I was told, and lay down, but my heart was thumping. Something was wrong