Season' s cheatings

There was one woman Karen and Lisa couldn' t stop gossiping about¼

Have you noticed that Jenny has a new fella every Christmas?' I asked my sister Lisa when we met in our favourite café.

In the market square, brass bands played carols and the town' s tree looked so festive, decorated in red, green and gold.

Lisa nodded as she tucked into a turkey and stuffing sandwich. Yes, Karen. Jenny usually meets someone at a bonfire or Halloween party, then introduces him to her entire family on the big day.'

And by Valentine' s Day, the romance is over,' I sighed.

I wonder why the relationships don' t last,'

Lisa mused.

I cut my mince pie in half. Well, Jenny picks the wrong sort. Do you remember her very first boyfriend? It was around five years ago. Forty-something Kane, who refused to leave his mother? He was a deeply devoted son and it was lovely that he was so close to her, and yet¼'

We used to call him Norman Bates,' Lisa giggled.

Everyone did! Jenny' s family were still calling him Norman when her mum passed him the cranberry sauce at Christmas lunch.'

The look on his face!' she grinned. No wonder Kane and his mum didn' t stay for any Christmas pudding.'

Chap number two, Terry, was 20 years older than her. Jenny wanted to go out clubbing, while his idea of a good time was slumping on the sofa studying gardening books,' Lisa pointed out.

Ah, but Terry had a secret gambling problem, didn' t he? When she was out, he' d sneak online for a flutter.'

Lisa nodded. Who was boyfriend number three again?'

Dreary Derek, recently divorced,' I replied. People warned Jenny that he was still in love with his ex-wife, but she wouldn' t listen.'

Lisa pulled a face. He wasn' t a keeper.'

Neither was boyfriend number four Jeff, the tattooed jailbird.'

He' d been inside for was it robbery?' she probed.

Yep. Jeff robbed the local corner shop, as he was in debt to a loan shark.'

Lisa took up the tale. Ah yes. Desperate, he needed a big amount, quick. But he offended again and was thrown back into jail.

Then it was on to chap number five, Gary, who was utterly obsessed with football. She just can' t seem to find a decent guy, Karen.'

Jenny' s always been unlucky in love,' I said wistfully.

Why don' t we send her a really nice Christmas card?' my kind sister suggested.

I agreed and then we hauled ourselves back into the jolly throng of Christmas shoppers.

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Well, who would have believed it?' I placed our tray on the café table and sank into my chair, while Lisa peeled off her hat, scarf and gloves.

January was bitterly cold with a biting frost and a cutting wind.

I know! On Christmas day, we discovered that Jenny had been having a long-standing affair with Lee, the local window cleaner!' she exclaimed.

Talk about season' s cheatings!' I spluttered.

What on earth attracted her to him? It' s not as if he has any good career prospects,' Lisa sniffed.

I expect she was lonely. Jenny couldn' t really talk to Kane, Terry, Derek, Jeff, or Gary,' I said.

Well, she must have done more than just talk with Lee she' s four months pregnant!' Lisa stated.

I wagged a finger. `Aha!

But whose baby is it?'

Yes, everybody' s talking about it. The rumours are rife on social media,' she whispered.

A moment of reflection fell as we sipped our lattes.

Jenny should have skipped the usual new boyfriendº family introduction on Christmas morning,' I said.

Lisa cut in. And when Lee' s wife, Cindy, followed Lee¼'

Jenny ended up wearing thick gravy, sprouts and pigs in blankets!' I laughed.

Lisa shrugged. Well, I don' t blame Cindy. I' d be incensed if my husband ditched me for someone else on Christmas morning.'

Lee and Cindy have been trying for a baby for ages,' I reminded her.

He was getting fed up of the fertility treatment, wasn' t he? I suppose it made him feel less of a man,' she remarked pensively.

Then, without warning, from the table in front, a middle-aged, smartly dressed lady turned around in her chair and faced us.

I' ve been listening to your conversation. It' s absolutely fascinating.'

Lisa and I looked at one another and reddened.

I guess we should have kept this gossip private, not public,' Lisa said.

I was actually here in this café at the same time as you two before Christmas,' the customer went on. I hope you don' t mind, but I wanted to ask if you really sent a Christmas card to Jenny?'

I smiled. No, we sent a card to Tammy Cole, who plays the part of Jenny so brilliantly in our favourite TV soap, Southsiders!'

What on earth attracted her to him? It s not as if he has any good career prospects