The office scrooge

Felicity' s generosity' was about to backfire on her¼

It was 13 December, lunchtime, and everyone else in the office was out fighting their way through the crowded shops in search of perfect gifts.

But not Felicity. She' d done all that months ago.

She sat quietly at her desk, munched her ham and tomato sandwich, and wrote her last Christmas cards.

She prided herself on being organised, efficient and prompt the three essentials of being a manager at Harris, Grace, Keith & Dennis, chartered accountants.

And this year all the partners would know it.

With best wishes for the festive season, Felicity xxx, she wrote on each card.

And then, with generosity that was bound to make an impression, she wrote out the cheques for each of the partners in the office.

£10 for Mr Dennis and Mr Keith, £15 for Mr Grace and £20 for Mr Harris to each according to their position above her.

And on each of their cards enclosing the cheques, by way of explanation, she wrote: You can buy your own present this year!

Not a box of chocolates they might not like, or a wine of the wrong colour or vintage.

That should impress them, she thought.

If they were like Felicity and she was sure they were, as she too was heading for the very top they would like to buy themselves something they really wanted for Christmas. Or maybe even a bargain in the sales afterwards?

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

You haven' t done your Christmas cards already?' gasped Sharon, looking at the pile of envelopes as she and Maureen returned to the office, hot, bothered and exhausted. My word, I haven' t even bought mine yet!'

I bought mine in the new year sales,' smiled

Felicity.

Have they started already?' asked Maureen. Golly, we haven' t even had Christmas!' Felicity sighed.

The new year sales 11 months ago,' she said.

Oh,' said Maureen. Wow, you' re organised!'

I got lovely embossed cards,' said Felicity. They look as though they cost a fortune, but they were half price. Just like my dress for the office party I got that in the new year sales too.'

Really? I' d worry about it being out of fashion by next Christmas,' Sharon replied.

Classic elegance doesn' t date,' Felicity said with a superior look she' d read it in a magazine at the dentist' s, so it must be true.

Twelve months is a long time to stay the same size, I' ve put a bit of weight on since then,' said Maureen. Does it still fit you?'

Of course it does!' said Felicity, with a confidence she didn' t feel.

She tried it on as soon as she got home. Oh no!

She had put on weight. Her tummy looked fat and awful, and the dress was all wrinkled around the waist. She panicked.

She' d only got five days before the office party, she just had to wear this dress.

It was low cut, specially designed to reveal her magnificent cleavage, and tight-fitting to leave her figure to no one' s imagination.

Which was fine when she' d been slimmer.

There was nothing for it. She just wouldn' t eat before the party. And do lots of exercise. And buy some of those tummy slimming tights. And breathe in.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆◆

She' d slim down by Friday. She had to. She had to make a good impression on everyone at the party.

Her future promotion, she was sure, depended on it.

The office manager was leaving, and Maureen and Sharon no doubt thought they were in line for the job, having been there far longer than Felicity.

But she was in a different class to them. She would make a far better manager she just had to remind the partners of that, and show them that she had talents over and

above the call of duty.

She smoothed the dress down over her ample hips.

Oh, she' d do that all right!

It was hard, not eating very much when it was so cold. Instead, Felicity drank plenty of warm water and pretended it was soup.

By the end of each day, she didn' t have much energy for tummy toning exercises. But she forced her body to do it.

Next year, when she was made office manager, she would know her suffering was all worthwhile.

I don' t know what to give the partners for Christmas this year,' said Sharon, on Thursday lunchtime.

Really? I don' t see why we have to give them anything,' said Felicity.

Sharon looked horrified. Oh we must!' she gasped. It' s tradition, they give us a party and we give them presents. Everyone gives them something. You' ve got such good taste, Felicity, could you help me choose something nice? Please?'

Of course,' said Felicity. How about getting them some aftershave? I know just the thing men like.'

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

Maureen came with them to the shops.

Here we are!' said Felicity, sniffing a spray that was so sickly sweet, it almost made her feel sick. This is just the thing!'

`Are you sure?' Sharon said, sniffing it and turning her nose up. I wouldn' t have gone for this one.'

That' s because you' re a woman, not a man,' said

Felicity. It' s a real man' s scent.'

Ah! Of course,' said Sharon. I' ll get four of these, then. You' re so clever, Felicity.'

Clever just isn't the word! thought Felicity, smiling.

While Sharon queued up, Felicity turned to Maureen.

So what have you bought the partners this year?' she asked.

Well,' said Maureen, I' ve actually bought them hankies. After all, they' re always useful, aren' t they? They each have their initials embroidered on them, so if they lose them, everyone knows who they belong to.'

Hankies?' asked Felicity, incredulously.

Oh, it' s not a very good idea, is it?' Maureen asked, looking rather deflated.

Give the hankies to your grandad and your great uncles!' said Felicity. Why don' t you buy the partners all ties? Not boring fuddyduddy ties, but fun ones that show them you think they' re still young at heart. Look, there are some nice ones in polyester over here!'

With Felicity' s guidance, Maureen bought four Seventies retro ties in different colours red, green, orange and yellow, all covered with pink pigs.

Are you really sure they' ll like these?' Maureen asked, as they stood in the queue to pay for them. What do those letters embroidered on them mean?'

MCP?' asked Felicity.

She smiled. Maureen was far too young to know that in the Seventies that stood for male chauvinist pig' .

She thought quickly.

Most Caring Person!' she blurted.

Oh good!' said Maureen. They will like them, then, won' t they?'

Sure to!' smiled Felicity. Let' s give them all our presents together on Friday afternoon, just before we leave work. It will put them in a really good mood before the party!'

Perfect!' said Maureen.

You do have such good ideas, Felicity.'

Felicity smiled. She thought so herself.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

Are you only giving cards, Felicity?' asked Sharon, as she and Maureen picked up their gaudily wrapped packages on Friday afternoon.

She' s shown them to me, they' re expensive embossed cards,' said Maureen. They could keep them forever, couldn' t they, Felicity?'

Yes,' smiled Felicity.

She decided it was better not to tell Sharon and Maureen that she was giving money. They might try pinching her idea next year.

But all the partners were in a meeting when Felicity, Sharon and Maureen took their presents along as they left work. So they had to leave them on their desks.

Never mind,' said Felicity. They' ll find them when they come back. They' ll see them before the party.'

As she stared in the mirror at home that evening, Felicity managed to convince herself she' d lost a lot of weight.

She had squeezed into her dress. It still looked rather tight, but she told herself that with curves like hers, it was very flattering.

She arrived before

Maureen and Sharon.

The conference room was already crowded with happy office staff enjoying the party.

It had been made to look very festive and, as luck would have it, Mr Harris was there standing under the

ÔIt s tradition, they give us a party and we give them presents. Everyone gives them somethingÕ

mistletoe on his own.

Felicity put on her most seductive smile and walked towards him. But suddenly, he turned away and started talking to someone nearby.

Felicity stopped in her tracks. She thought he' d seen her, but he couldn' t have! That could be the only possible explanation¼

Slightly flustered, she looked around the room and saw Mr Grace. She walked up behind him and tapped him on the arm. He turned, smiling and then his smile froze on his lips.

Excuse me!' he said, and strode away.

Felicity stared after him. What had happened?

Hadn' t he opened her card?

With shaking fingers, she picked up a glass of wine and gulped it down. She could hear Maureen' s voice. She was talking to Mr Dennis.

Felicity chose your tie, actually,' Maureen said. She said it was just right for you.'

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

Felicity could have sunk through the floor.

Mr Dennis glared at her. `And as you know, the letters on your tie stand for Most Caring Person,' Maureen went on. When I saw it, I knew I had to get it for you.'

Such a sweet child,' smiled Mr Dennis.

Felicity turned away. He was old enough to know what MCP. really stood for

and he knew that Felicity would know too.

She' d just have to chat him up later when he' d had a drink and possibly forgotten.

She looked around the room until she saw Mr Keith.

He had been surrounded by secretaries, but suddenly he was free.

Hello, Mr Keith!' said Felicity, walking up to him. Did you like my card?' He turned and glared at her. Er, you did get it?' asked Felicity, her voice faltering.

Yes,' he said stiffly. We all got your cards, Mr Dennis, Mr Harris, Mr Grace and I. We were talking about them before the party. We all feel the same about them. Now, I' m sorry, there are other people I must meet.'

Felicity couldn' t believe it. What had gone wrong? Did they think she' d been trying to bribe them by giving them cheques?

Had she broken some rule about not giving money to your superiors?

Felicity had a terrible time at the party. Hardly anyone asked her to dance, and certainly no one important.

No one came over and talked to her either. Even the spotty-faced boy from the mail room who' d been trying to ask her out for weeks just sniggered and walked past. How very odd.

Felicity watched as Sharon and Maureen both danced with Mr Harris and Mr Grace.

She couldn' t understand it. Thanks to her, they' d given them ghastly cheap gifts, and yet she' d generously given them money and they wouldn' t even talk to her! What was going on?

Finally Sharon came and sat next to her.

It' s all round the office what you did, you know,' she said. What?' asked Felicity.

Well you know, so I certainly don' t need to repeat it,' said Sharon.

Repeat what?' asked Felicity. But Sharon had got up to dance again. In a daze, Felicity walked from the conference room up to her office, searching for some clue as to what she' d done wrong.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

She walked into Mr Harris' s office. Christmas cards were all around the room, on top of filing cabinets and shelves. Felicity searched and finally found hers in the bin! What a cheek! Indignantly, she pulled it out and carried it through to her own office again. She sat on her chair, opened her drawer, and then, she saw them. The cheques she had written for the four partners.

Felicity had a terrible time. Hardly anyone asked her to dance, and certainly no one impor tant

Felicity gasped. How could she have done it? How could she have forgotten to put the cheques in their Christmas cards?

But that was no reason for them to be angry. Surely they would imagine that their presents were to follow?

And then she looked again at the wording on Mr Harris' s card the same words she' d put on each partner' s card.

You can buy your own present this year!

And suddenly she understood just why they were so upset!

It seemed she might not beat the others to that promotion after all...