Great expectations

Joanne had sold her life story. Would she end up as front page news?

Joanne stared at the ultrasound scan in disbelief as the nurse pointed out all the tiny hearts beating away.

That one makes six, and there' s the seventh and just here is the eighth!' she said.

Eight!' cried Joanne, feeling almost faint. `Are you really sure?'

I' ll just count all the foetuses again,' said the nurse and proceeded to do it.

Joanne watched in disbelief. All those legs and heads and hearts¼

There' s no doubt about it,' the nurse said, smiling.

You' ve got eight little ones on the way.'

Eight! Joanne couldn' t believe it. It was incredible. She walked out of the clinic in a complete daze.

One new life was wonderful, two were a miracle, but eight! It was incredible, amazing, absolutely and totally overwhelming¼

With shaking fingers she dialled Greg' s number. When she told him he thought she was joking. In fact, it took quite a while for her to persuade him.

We were warned it would be a multiple pregnancy,' he said. But eight! My god! I need a drink!'

Have one for me!' said Joanne. I' ve got to get back to work, although heaven knows how I' ll be able to concentrate on doing any today.'

I still can' t believe it.

Aren' t we clever!' he cried.

Are we?' asked Joanne, hesitantly.

Of course we are!' said Greg. We must meet up tonight to celebrate, how about seeing you at the wine bar at six?'

OK,' said Joanne. I' ll see you then.'

She rang her mum as soon as she arrived at the office.

I' ve seen the babies on the scan!' she told her. They' re all perfectly healthy. Oh, Mum, I saw them moving, they' re so tiny! And wait for it there' s even more than we thought. There are eight foetuses. Eight! Can you believe it?'

Her mum couldn' t. Neither could her sisters. When she' d finished on the phone,

Joanne started telling all her friends at work, and anyone else who stayed still for long enough was shown the photo of the scan.

I know it looks like nothing more than a dark blur,' she told everyone, but look, there' s a heart there and another there¼.

By the time Joanne had finished showing it around the office, she could explain the scan blindfold.

You' d better get as much rest as you can, now,' said Paul, her boss. You' re going to be absolutely worn out when they arrive.'

Joanne smiled.

Greg will help. He' s as excited as I am. And just think! Eight! My god, eight mouths to feed!

Talking of food, Greg

Eight! Joanne couldnÕ t believe it. It was incredible. She walked out of the clinic in a complete daze

and I are meeting for a celebratory drink tonight and I' ve got to go round the supermarket first. Do you mind if I leave early?'

Paul pulled a face.

This is how it' s going to be from now on your mind no longer on the job, you' ll be arriving late, leaving early¼

No,' said Joanne, frowning. Really, I won' t¼.

He laughed. I' m pulling your leg! Of course you can go early. Let' s face it, no one' s getting any work done while you' re forcing them to look at your scan!'

Joanne smiled at him and put on her jacket. I' ll make up the time tomorrow,' she said. I promise.'

The supermarket was less busy than she' d feared and Joanne got to the wine bar early.

Normally, she' d have been intimidated, but today nothing could touch her.

She sat at the bar and sipped her orange juice, and just couldn' t help smiling.

She was scared, of course she was. But they' d cope. They had to!

Hello, darling, you look happy!' said a voice.

She turned to see a rather fat man in a bright orange shirt and green jacket, leering at her. He obviously fancied his chances almost as much as he fancied himself.

Hello, my name' s Simon,' he said, grinning. Can I buy you another drink? Whatever it is you' re on, it' s doing wonders for you.'

No, thanks,' said Joanne.

I' m waiting for someone.'

Story of my life!' he said, pulling a face. Come on, he' s not here yet. Just have one little drink with me? A pretty girl like you shouldn' t be on your own, now should you?'

He slipped an arm around her shoulder and Joanne quickly edged away.

I don' t think my husband would approve if he saw your arm around me,' she said.

Ah! A husband!' Simon said. He shook his head. Why is it that all the best girls are married? What' s the harm in spending time with a lonely stranger? You know what they say, what the eyes don' t see, the heart can' t grieve over.' I would know,' said Joanne. But your husband lets his wife go on her own into a wine bar. Can this man be truly serious about you?'

`Definitely,' Joannegrinned. You see we' ve just discovered we' re expecting the patter of tiny feet. Lots of them.'

Well, you won' t have time for sitting in wine bars on your own when they arrive,' he said.

No,' said Joanne, not with eight little ones to look after.'

He was so surprised, he nearly spilt his drink.

Eight!' he gasped. You' re expecting eight?'

Joanne nodded.

I can hardly believe it myself. Can you imagine the noise? The mess, with eight little ones to clean up after, to care for, to chase after.'

Eight!' he repeated. Are you sure?'

Yes,' said Joanne. I found out today. Of course, it' s early days yet, things could go wrong, but fingers crossed.' He shook his head.

That' s absolutely, incredibly wonderful!' he said.

Joanne looked at him. His eyes were glinting. He hardly knew her and yet he was almost as excited as she was.

Listen,' he said. I' m in the publicity business, I know all the right people, I could help you here.'

Oh¼ I don' t think so,' said Joanne. You see¼'

No, you see!' he said, getting out his chequebook. You ladies don' t know about these things, but I' m a man of the world and I' m telling you this is a big story.'

He was so patronising, so superior. This man who thought she shouldn' t be allowed on her own in a bar. Who thought he could advise her about life.

He was still going on¼ and on¼

Eight babies, I don' t think it' s ever happened in Wales before. I don' t think it' s happened in Europe or even the world.'

I' m pretty sure it has¼'

No, no, not eight!' His eyes glinted at her greedily. Let me represent you. I

He obviously fancied his chances almost as much as he fancied himself

could get the best deal from the newspapers, sell your story to them, make you a lot of money.'

I don' t think you will¼' Joanne began.

But he interrupted her again.

Trust me, darling, you don' t know what you' re talking about. You' ve no idea!' he said, rubbing his hands together in glee. This is going to be such a big story. You must say yes. You just have to! Please!'

Joanne stared at him. He was hot and perspiring, beads of sweat were starting to stand out on his forehead.

I suppose you' d make loads of money, too, if you sold our story for a lot,' she said, slowly.

He shrugged.

Some, yes. But nothing compared to the amount you would make.'

So you' d be doing this all for my benefit?' she asked. He smiled at her.

You' re a nice girl, I liked you as soon as I saw you. If I can help someone else along my way, then I' m happy. And a good-news story like this will make a lot of readers happy, too. You could say I' m in the happiness business.'

He hesitated and frowned. You are going to go through with it, aren' t you?' he asked. What?'

The pregnancy. With so many foetuses, some women go for selective abortion to reduce the risks of having a few healthy ones born.'

No way!' said Joanne, vehemently. I couldn' t kill any of them.'

That' s the spirit!' he grinned. I' m sure we can do a deal here. What do you say?' Well¼' Joanne began.

That' s a good girl, I knew you' d see sense,' he said. Now all you need is proof that what you' re telling me is true not that I don' t believe you, darling,' he added hurriedly. However, we' re talking about a lot of money here.'

Joanne pulled out the photo of the scan. Simon peered at it and frowned.

I' m not sure that this helps,' he said. This could be a photograph of the inside of your handbag for all it means to me!'

Patiently, Joanne tried to explain it. She counted all the hearts for him and pointed out the bodies and heads.

Simon frowned, and put on his reading glasses and strained his eyes.

Yeah, I can see eight different bodies,' he said.

But how do I know it' s your scan?'

Joanne pointed to her name, which was printed in the top right hand corner.

And I can prove that' s me,' she said, pulling out a credit card.

Simon grinned.

That' ll do me,' he said and pulled a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket. Look, it just so happens I' ve got one of my contracts here,' Simon said. It' s all very straightforward. If you just sign it at the bottom there, you don' t need to bother your pretty head reading all that small print it just gives me exclusive rights to your story for a small percentage of your earnings. And by way of advance, I' ll give you a cheque for £100.' £1000,' said Joanne.

What?' he asked, horrified. And I want it in cash,' she said.

You' re joking!' he cried. He stared at her. He' d thought a silly girl like her was going to be a pushover. Joanne shook her head.

If it' s going to make us both this much money, it' s worth at least £1000 downpayment.'

But I don' t carry that much money around with me.'

Well, I can sit here with my drink while you go and get it from a cash machine,' she said, smiling at him sweetly. Maybe if you' re gone long enough, my husband will have arrived and he can discuss the deal with you, too?'

No, there' s no need for that, we' ve already struck a deal!' he said, grabbing her hand and shaking it.

Then he got up quickly. Just¼ just wait there!' he said, scurrying out of the bar.

Joanne smiled as she watched him race out of the door.

And then she looked again at the contract which she was supposed to just sign without reading all the small print and quickly read through it¼

It only took him five minutes to get back. Five minutes in which she read the contract from top to bottom and saw that she would be signing over 60 per cent of her earnings.

Some small percentage indeed! He was trying to rip her off, he must think she was completely stupid!

What a nasty little man he was. But still, she signed it.

There was a glint in his eye when he sat down and saw that she had.

Perfect!' he said and handed the money over.

Joanne counted it carefully. It was all there.

Thank you,' she said, putting it away in her purse. I' m going to need it with all those mouths to feed.'

You certainly will,' he replied. Now I' d better be off and start ringing round and making contacts. We' re going to be in the money, babe! I' ll be seeing you.'

As he got up to leave, Greg walked in. He turned and looked after Simon as he walked past him.

Who was that?' he asked Joanne.

Our new business partner,' she said. He' s given me £1000 for exclusive rights to sell our story to the world.'

What¼ £1000!' cried

Greg. What story?'

Of our multiple pregnancy, remember,' said Joanne, grinning and holding up the scan photo.

But¼ but, they' re only puppies!' said Greg.

You know that and I know that and I tried to tell him that,' said Joanne. But he' s a man of the world and somehow he just didn' t want to know!'

He was hot and perspiring, beads of sweat were starting to stand out on his forehead