Flaying Solo

It was a grey, wet spring Saturday. As Rachel stared at the pouring rain, Mark came rushing in, clutching his tablet.

‘What’s the perfect thing to do today?’ he asked.

‘Go back to bed,’ sighed Rachel.

‘No, find a great summer holiday!’ said Mark. ‘So that’s what I’ve done. And I’ve found us a great deal! Look!’

Rachel’s eyes lit up as she gazed at the hotel and resort. ‘Wow! It looks absolutely fantastic!’ she said. ‘Mum really must see this!’

But Sylvia wasn’t keen.

‘It’s all right, I suppose,’ she sniffed, peering at the screen. ‘If you like that kind of thing.’

‘What? Sandy beaches, beach-front restaurant, beautiful bay and quaint harbour!’ Rachel cried. ‘Who could fail to like it? Look, they even have bingo as one of the afternoon activities for you.’

‘That’s when I have my sleep,’ said Sylvia. ‘Why can’t we go to Menorca again? It’s been good enough for us for the past five years.’

‘Because we want a change,’ Mark explained patiently. ‘You agreed we could choose the holiday this year.’

‘But I really like Menorca.’ ‘Well, go on your own, then!’ said Rachel. ‘Our hotel had a lot of singles in it last year.’

‘On my own?’ Sylvia laughed, shaking her head. ‘I’ll be fine but what would you two do without me?’ Have fun, thought Rachel. ‘It’s so lovely, places will get snapped up,’ said Mark. ‘So let us know quickly if you want to join us.’

On Monday, Rachel had one meeting after the other at work. When she finally got out, she had five messages from Sylvia.

‘Why haven’t you rung before?’ Sylvia demanded when Rachel rang her. ‘They said you were in meetings.’ ‘I was,’ said Rachel.

‘Well, I had to make a decision by five and you didn’t ring back. So I had to decide myself.’

‘About what?’

‘Our holiday.’

‘What? We’re going to the Algarve…’

‘I know you mentioned that! But you didn’t know then that our hotel in Menorca is doing this never–to-be-repeated deal. And for the very same weeks that Mark has to have his holiday. It seems as though we were meant to go!’

‘Mum. It doesn’t matter what the deal is…’

‘Yes it does! It’s half-price. But there were only three seats left on the plane. I had to book it, I couldn’t let it go.’

Rachel nearly dropped the phone. ‘You did what?’

‘I booked it! Oh, I’ve saved us so much money! I know how Mark likes to count the pennies, he’ll be so pleased…’

Pleased was not the word. Mark was furious. ‘That interfering busybody!’ he cried. ‘She knew we didn’t want to go there again. I never even wanted to go the first time!’

‘I’m so sorry...’ muttered Rachel.

‘Is there any way we can back out?’

Rachel shook her head. ‘I rang the travel agent. Because it’s a special deal, we can’t change it at all.’ ‘She knew that!’ said Mark. ‘She’s right, though, it is cheap,’ said Rachel. ‘Maybe with the money we’ve saved, we could afford a weekend in Blackpool later in the year?’

‘The hotel may be cheap,’

‘She knew we didn’t want to go there again. I never wanted to go the first time!’

said Mark. ‘But you know your mother. She’ll want to go to those fancy expensive restaurants again, the ones where the waiters pretend they really think she’s your sister…’

‘Don’t remind me!’ shuddered

Rachel. ‘But what can we do? It’s booked now.’

Rachel kept the photo of the hotel in Portugal up on the kitchen noticeboard. She gazed at it yearningly when she was washing up and told herself they’d go next year if it was as cheap. And as time went by, she even managed to get a little bit excited about Menorca. At least it would be two weeks away in the sun…

Sylvia called round the day before they left. ‘I hope you’re all packed,’ she said.

‘I was upstairs doing it when you rang the bell,’ said Rachel.

‘You and Mark aren’t going to go off on boat trips again and leave me on my own, are you?’

‘It is our holiday, too,’ Rachel pointed out. ‘And that’s what we like to do.’

‘But we’re going away to spend time together…’

‘Not all the time,’ said Rachel. ‘It’s a chance for you to make friends your own age. You’ll have fun!’

‘Not if you’re going off all the time…’

Rachel sighed. Suddenly she had a flashback to last year. Of Sylvia whingeing and whining whenever she and Mark did something on their own, of her long sulks over dinner, of how Rachel had come home from holiday more tired than when she’d gone away.

How could she have forgotten?

‘Why don’t you go and get an early night?’ she suggested wearily. ‘I’ve got to finish my packing, and we’ve got an early start.’

‘You won’t be late picking me up, will you? You won’t forget to collect me?’

‘No, Mum,’ said Rachel. ‘Don’t tempt me,’ she added under her breath.

‘I’ll ring you at five to make sure you’re up,’ said Sylvia as she walked out of the door.

‘But we’re not getting up until six,’ Rachel cried.

But with a sinking heart she knew Sylvia would choose not to hear.

Sure enough, Sylvia rang Rachel at five.

‘We might as well get up,’ sighed

Mark. ‘Thank goodness we can go back to sleep on the plane.’

‘Not with Sylvia moaning on in our ears, we can’t!’ said Rachel.

Sylvia was standing outside staring pointedly at her watch when they picked her up two minutes early. ‘About time, too,’ she moaned.

They arrived at the airport two hours early. All the way Sylvia fretted about whether she’d packed everything and if they were going to be late.

‘I’ll check in our bags,’ said Mark. ‘You and Sylvia go and have a cup of tea — and a sedative.’

Rachel smiled at him gratefully. Unfortunately Sylvia had a Belgian bun instead of a sedative and moaned about how dry it was and how there wasn’t enough icing.

‘I’ve got a headache,’ said Rachel, getting up. ‘I’m going to buy some aspirin.’

‘I’ve got some,’ said Sylvia, producing a box.

‘Somehow I don’t think there’s enough in there to last me all holiday,’ said Rachel.

She browsed the magazines in the shop and bought several. She also picked up some ear-plugs to use whenever necessary in the next two weeks. When she finally steeled herself to go back to the café, Sylvia had gone.

‘They’ve announced the flight,’ said Mark. ‘So, of course, Sylvia has gone rushing off to board first.’

‘I’m not sure I can stand this holiday,’ Rachel told him.

‘Yes, you can!’ said Mark. ‘We’ll have a wonderful time. Come on.’

Rachel sighed and followed him to the gate. And then she saw the board.

‘Hold on!’ she cried.

‘We’ve got the wrong gate. This plane’s for Portugal.’

‘I know!’ grinned Mark. ‘I’d already booked us two on to that Algarve holiday when your mum booked Menorca! Thank goodness they were both cut-price. What a shame she’s rushed off to Menorca so she can’t come with us. Do you think we’ll survive without her telling us what to do?’

Rachel stared at him, a huge smile spreading across her face.

‘Survive?’ she asked. ‘We’re going to have the most fantastic holiday ever!’

Sylvia was outside staring pointedly at her watch when they picked her up