I had a huge surge of panic on Everest and thought ‘this is the end’
He’s faced many challenges, but it turns out Everest was the biggest ever. GABRIELLE FAGAN catches up with TV’s mean machine, Ant Middleton
ORMER soldier and chief instructor on Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins reality series since 2015, Ant Middleton is deservedly dubbed TV’s hardest man.
The 37-year-old Hampshire-born father-of-five is used to risking his life. He’s fought the Taliban in Afghanistan, and is one of only a handful of soldiers to have completed the Holy Trinity of serving in the Parachute Regiment, the Royal Marines and the elite Special Forces.
Yet he reveals his toughest challenge ever has been the five-and-a-half week expedition in May this year to conquer Everest.
Captured in an hour-long Channel 4 documentary, the dramatic journey sees him separated from his camera crew, at the mercy of the elements and suffering frostbite in treacherous conditions. The film charts his desperate fight to survive on the 29,000ft peak, which has claimed nearly 300 lives since 1922.
Ant talks about facing up to death, how failing as a dad is his greatest fear and what motivates him...
What effect has climbing Everest had on you?
I NEARLY died on that mountain. I’ll never forget the experience. I had this huge surge of panic thinking: ‘You aren’t going to get out of this one, mate – it’s your time to go, this is the end’.
I’ve never been that vulnerable and helpless ever in my life and felt almost childlike, because the whole situation was so out of control. In the military, I had my weapon, my team and knew I was capable – but this was something else.
It was a cocktail of disasters you couldn’t prepare for. There was a queue of around 10 other climbers ahead of me, waiting to descend, some of whom were incompetent and not fit for the challenge.
Those sort of people endanger others and nearly cost me my life. When an unforeseen storm with 70mph winds and a total white-out hit us, people were getting blown off the mountain and you could hear others panicking and screaming, ‘Get off the mountain, get off the mountain, you’re going to die.’ I passed a Sherpa guide who I realised had given up the struggle and who later died.
I ran out of oxygen eventually. I was in an area called the ‘death zone’ and it’s named that for a reason. For a brief moment, I definitely considered throwing myself off the mountain to die, rather than perishing slowly without air, but I pulled myself together. The TV crew did assume I’d died for a while when they couldn’t find me.
I told myself, ‘Ant, get a grip and practice what you preach. You’re the only person who can rescue you’. You go either into fight or flight mode and fortunately, I went into the former.
Thankfully, a Sherpa guide finally found more oxygen, but it was just one horrible moment in literally hours of hell where I had to fight to keep myself together in icy conditions. My eyesight was temporarily affected and I’m still suffering numbness in my toes. I was lucky to survive, but I regard it as a privilege to have gone through it. It’s been a dream since I was 16.
Are you addicted to danger? WHEN you’re in the military, you teeter on the edge of that line of life and death. The reason you feel so alive when you come through is because you know you’ve cheated death – and that and the adrenaline rush is addictive, no question.
But actually, what I’m hooked on is learning more about myself when I push my boundaries and take myself to the edge. It’s asking that never-ending question, ‘Who am I?’ which motivates me and takes me on a constant journey of selfdiscovery that teaches me so much.
What’s your biggest fear? FAILING as a father and a husband. It’s the greatest job I do and the hardest. I had a tough childhood after my father died when I was five, and I had a very difficult stepfather. I want to give my children what I didn’t have – a good role model. The thought of them ever turning around and saying ‘You weren’t a dad to us because you were away so much’ petrifies me.
I want to succeed for them, and sacrifice being away from them for periods so I can provide and give them opportunities, but I’m disciplined about turning off my ‘work head’ and going into full ‘dad mode’ when I’m home.
What’s had the biggest effect on your life?
MEETING my wife, Emilie. Before she was in my life, I was a tearaway, getting drunk and doing stupid things. It was love at first sight when we met, and I knew I had to change to keep her. I joined the Marines, passed Special Forces selection and became a leader in the military.
She never holds back on her opinion, like calling me an ‘idiot’ when she found out how close I’d come to death on Everest. To be fair, I agreed with her! After that harrowing time when I finally got to speak to her, I rarely cry, but I shed a tear and couldn’t speak because I was so choked up. I feared I’d never hear her voice again.” AT the moment, I’m into running and functional training – mainly body weight stuff and core strengthening – four or five times a week for around 45 minute sessions. I also do a lot of swimming. I might wake up in the morning and go out for a sixto eight-mile run, and then in the afternoon, swim two or three kilometres.
I don’t stick to a routine, because I like to mix things up, which stops training becoming boring and helps shock muscles into firing up.
I’m 5’ 8” and my weight’s a steady 82kg. I fuel my body with the right nutrition, and vitamins like Berocca, to leave me feeling energised and focused to overcome any tough day.
How do you look after your wellbeing?
I’M more about mind over muscle. My mindset needs to be the fittest, because it drags my body through whatever needs to be done. A lot of people neglect training their mind and their self-belief, but I believe that’s crucial.
What’s key is framing things in a positive light. When I was younger, if I got into arguments, I’d become aggressive and violent, but I learned to use my ‘demons’ – anger, aggression or wanting to prove people wrong – as positives.
They’re great drivers for good, as long as they’re managed by a positive outlook and a motivation that doesn’t allow them to turn into negatives.
■ EXTREME Everest With Ant Middleton, in association with Berocca, is available to watch on Channel 4’s catch-up service, All4. Find out more at berocca. co.uk and #NoDayTooTough