Learning to manage disgust
DISGUST is one of the core human emotions. We’ve all experienced it, whether in response to food that’s gone off, a smell that turns your stomach or behaviour that you find morally repugnant.
Like all emotions, we experience disgust for good reason: it helps to keep us healthy and safe from situations, substances or people who pose a threat to our physical or mental wellbeing.
When we come into contact with potentially toxic influences, disgust is a perfectly natural and healthy response.
However, sometimes our experience of disgust and how we react to it can cause us problems. It can get in the way of achieving our goals, living the life we want and at its worst can damage relationships and be harmful to others.
Let me give you some examples. If I show disgust at the whiff of a colleague’s body odour, I might impede my ability to focus on my job and work together as a team.
If I show disgust every time I notice the sound of my partner eating, I might cause a row.
If I react with disgust whenever I see a homeless person, I might become less inclined to help vulnerable people in need.
The first step to managing disgust is to notice when you’re experiencing it. You might notice body sensations
such as feeling sick or nauseated, your skin “crawling” or a lump in your throat.
You might also notice an increase in judgmental thoughts, your nose scrunching up and your top lip curling. You’ll almost certainly notice urges to move away or avoid whatever is stimulating your disgust.
When you notice disgust, take a step back and figure out whether or not your disgust is warranted.
Ask yourself, what I am reacting to? Does my disgust fit the facts of the situation or is it being fuelled by my judgments, assumptions and interpretations? Is it effective to act on disgust right now?
When acting on disgust isn’t in your best interests, try doing the opposite of what disgust is telling you to do. Start with your body: take some deep breaths, unscrew your
nose, uncurl your lip and relax you facial muscles.
Next work on your thoughts. If you notice you are being judgmental towards others, try putting yourself in their shoes. Imagine what life is like for them and how they would feel if they knew you were judging them to be disgusting. Empathy is a great way to reduce disgust.
Finally, move towards whatever is triggering your disgust. Exposing ourselves to the things that disgust us is the best way to reduce our discomfort.
Build up to it slowly and in small steps if necessary, and with time and practice your disgust will wane as you learn that there isn’t a real threat to your health or wellbeing.