Why the rewards of opening up to others are worth the risks...
THERE is something so meaningful about opening up to others about our thoughts and feelings.
Taking that risk, saying “this is part of me,” and admitting our vulnerability as we hope for the other person’s understanding and acceptance.
However, the thought of opening up to the people around us can be incredibly anxiety-provoking.
A recent study found that over two thirds of the British population feel lonely at least some of the time.
Feeling lonely isn’t necessarily about being alone but can also be about feeling misunderstood or like an outsider around the people we do spend time with.
This may be, in part at least, due to our underlying fear of rejection.
Opening up to someone definitely involves a risk, but the rewards can be bountiful; deeper connection, deeper understanding and deeper intimacy between two people.
One way to tackle feelings of loneliness when we’re among others is to work on our ability to open up emotionally to the people around us.
Here are my top tips for doing just that...
Be mindful of sharing information appropriately:
and sharing information about yourself, it’s really important to consider your audience.
Ask yourself, how well do I know this person and how trustworthy are they?
A close friend might be happy to talk about your recent relationship problems whilst a new acquaintance might find this uncomfortable. If in doubt, start off small and build up gradually to sharing more personal information.
Remember that practice makes perfect:
If you’re not used to sharing your inner experiences with other people then this will feel odd and maybe even uncomfortable or wrong at first.
Perseverance is key. Start by practising sharing information that is relatively “safe” emotionally, such as what you have been doing during the week. Or if that feels too hard initially, start by practising in front of the mirror to give yourself the opportunity to get the words out.
Finally, prepare some questions to ask the other person ahead of time:
That way, if sharing information about yourself starts to feel like too much, you can ask your questions and temporarily put the spotlight on them while you take a step back and regroup.