Water companies are mopping up BIRTHDAYS:

Clint Eastwood, actor and director, 93; Terry Waite, Anglican emissary and author, 84; Sharon Gless, actress, 80; Tom Berenger, actor, 74; Brooke Shields, actress, 58; Colin Farrell, actor, 47.

Durham Pride at the weekend was a riot of colour. Picture by the Chronicle’s Craig Connor LAST week’s biggest political joke? It has to be that brazen apology from our privatised water companies.

An immaculately presented string of sincere soundbites. Fooling nobody.

Just that it’s not funny – except perhaps to the overpaid executives and overseas investors who somehow manage to convince our political masters to keep their money making scam afloat.

They are laughing all the way to the bank!

Of all Thatcher’s privatisations this has to be the worst – sold off 34 years ago for a song and completely free from debt. The newly privatised concerns invested little in improved infrastructure and borrowed billions from all sorts of greedy creditors.

Much of their ill-gotten gains have been distributed as dividends to rich investors, many of whom are members of foreign sovereign wealth funds.

No other country in the world has adopted such a mad system. The unacceptable face of capitalism writ large.

Blair and Brown couldn’t care less, but surely our contemporary Labour Party will call time on these private monopolies. So where was Keir Starmer on raw sewage apology day? You might ask!

He had something else on his mind. It was that familiar script – father was a toolmaker, mother an NHS nurse, money was scarce. But things didn’t quite add up when he quietly mentioned that they owned the family home. Not exactly living on the breadline in a rented council house. All of this leading up to his big idea of the day. Labour will build houses on green belt land! Crazy!

Then, in parliament, with Rishi away on business, we had the spectacle of deputy prime minister’s questions. Angela Rayner for Labour droned on and on about privilege.

Debutant Oliver Dowden ignored the question and delivered what was clearly a well-rehearsed line. As a proud comprehensive schoolboy he would take no lessons about privilege from her.

There was no constructive political debate on issues relating to the potential nationalisation of water, but it makes you think. When did Labour last have a leader who was educated at a comprehensive school?

I guess we are going to be forced to endure the sharp practices of our water companies for the foreseeable future.