I was scared to see my dying Big Brother pal
I’VE BEEN A COWARD, SAYS STAR AFTER DEATH OF FRIEND
AN apologetic and emotional Michelle Heaton has said she was “too scared” to see Nikki Grahame before her death, while reminiscing about the memories she made with the Big Brother legend.
Gateshead-born star Michelle is one of a growing number of celebrities who have paid tribute to Nikki after her death at the age of 38, following a battle with anorexia nervosa.
The pair forged a close friendship over the years but, as she shared a picture of herself and Nikki at an awards bash, Michelle admitted she was “too scared” to see her in the weeks before her death, when friends rallied to raise more than £65,000 to get her help for her anorexia battle.
In a poignant Instagram post late on Saturday, Michelle wrote: “Dear Nikki, I’m so sorry I didn’t come. I was scared to see you...to say anything that may be a trigger to lose you...i was a coward and I’m so sorry. I just listened to our voices notes, our messages, and the phone calls over the last few weeks
“I think I knew, and I was too weak to know.
“Your last one, telling us you saw me on @lorraine & wished us all better and to call you. YOU thought of us even when on that day you were where you were!
“Most of my so-called friends didn’t even contact us.”
Reflecting on the good times she had with Nikki, who became an icon among Big Brother fans after her stint on the show in 2006, she wrote: “Nikki, I have so many memories. The holidays, the events, Ireland, Marbella.” Michelle illustrated her post with a picture of her and Nikki at the World Music Awards and wrote: “I just came across this one.
“Think it was the world music awards. We went as a couple lol! (Coz we were not as famous as the others to get ‘plus-one.’)
“Hand on hip! Way too much fake tan. Pale lips. Thinking we look amazing.
“Held our breath every time we had a picture coz we wanted to ‘look good’ then landed in the press comparing us to trash...as they do!
“But we didn’t care! Coz there was a FREE bar! Mini fish and chips going around! Smoked salmon on soggy crisp bread with crusty bits of wasabi (first time either of us had had smoked salmon).
“Michael Jackson was on stage and we just went looking for the goody bags under everyone’s chair”
Other stars commented on Michelle’s post, with I’m A Celebrity’s Victoria Derbyshire replying: “This is moving and heart-breaking.”
Model Caprice posted: “Babes, this just heartbreaking. I am just so sorry and so sad.”