Rules are rules – we must play fair

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OF course crick­eters have tried to gain an il­le­gal ad­van­tage BENIDORM is the place to be Near to a beach and the deep blue sea The sun shines out in ev­ery di­rec­tion You need plenty of sun cream for skin pro­tec­tion The long prom­e­nade should at­tract your at­ten­tion And hills up above are well worth a men­tion Our apart­ment and many more had a swim­ming pool If you wanted a dip or just to stay cool You can wan­der afar, have midday meals Or hire a car and do the same on wheels There’s a sub­ma­rine trip worth hav­ing a go Through win­dows you can see over the years by ball tam­per­ing but this lat­est cheat­ing was or­gan­ised and pre­med­i­tated, as has emerged since the in­ci­dent, and not an iso­lated oc­cur­rence by a player.

Mr Cess­ford says, quote, “so what”. I take it he would have the rules (laws) of sport be what goes on be­low Visit the open day mar­ket or the in­te­rior as well Plenty of shops you can buy what they sell There are Span­ish meals and English too, so take your pick And de­cide what to do You’ll find night en­ter­tain­ment and night­clubs ga­lore But be wary if you haven’t been be­fore The staff all around are su­perb and supreme You’ll want to re­turn be it all in a dream The op­tions are plenty so where else can you go Ask at re­cep­tion, they’re sure to know.

SID WE­STON, North Gos­forth ig­nored and cheat­ing con­demned. The fault was not that they for­got the 11th com­mand­ment “You shall not get caught”, as you say, but rather “Do not take sand­pa­per onto the pitch with a ne­far­i­ous ob­ject in mind!”

GE SHEP­HERD, Whit­ley Bay

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